Jul 30, 2023
Excellent job on this. I love Meipouchou, and will keep reading it once the contest ends, but I'm amazed by the amount of improvement shown here. Technically-wise, the writing is crisp, clear, and flows really smoothly. And from a storytelling perspective, I've always liked you how include political intrigue in your stories - it's integrated really well here. I also like the discussions about isekai. Not that power fantasies are a bad thing, but Chika's perspective is really interesting. And going off the POV comment below - I like how it's been kept to Thelian. I like the slow trickle of information from Chika - not that her POV can't be done, but it keeps the story tighter in my opinion.
Love the main couple. My favorite characters so far are Thundrakar and Thelian's dad (need courting helm merch right now)
