ArgentCosmonaut

ArgentCosmonaut

I work full time in an industrial assembly line but I am a part time video editor and I've been writing as a hobby for close to a decade. I enjoy Escape from Tarkov, Warhammer 40K and various Anime/Manga stories.

registered at: Jul 14, 2022
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    Aug 20, 2022

    I rather like the characters and the world in this story.

    It is good to see a character that is rather intelligent/cautious when they are inside apocalyptical circumstances. The mind is running a mile a minute in order to gather every bit of information to determine how much danger you could be.

    I do, however, find it interesting that heat is 'lingering' inside of a wall. It's the nature of heat to spread out into a even distribution (Thermodynamic equilibrium). I would have been under the impression there was something within the wall that was generating an amount of heat. It is interesting to see heat being able to be siphoned away into a liquid, it's a rather creative way to interpret the resource of heat. That, or, the heat is being converted into some kind of chemical energy like a sugar or something.

    I wonder how the electrodes work in order to siphon the heat. In my mind there is a limit as to how much heat they can draw. In physics, Absolute Zero is when there is no heat/no atomic movement within a system. I would imagine that these electrodes can only draw so much heat out of said system, then I would wonder if the liquid it draws out emits any heat as well, if the vial 'leaks'.

    I know I'm comparing this a lot with the study of Thermodynamics, perhaps this is not how it works in this story's universe, but it is the only thing I have an understanding of in relation to the story.

    It makes me think about RTGs that are used in satellites and in the more recent Mars rovers. I wonder if you could extract heat from decaying radioactive material in much the same way as RTGs generate electricity from the same source.

    This story of yours makes me think quite a bit about physics and I rather enjoy that. But, I imagine the characters should be the elements I should provide more focus on.

    So far, I rather like your characters.

    I'm interested in reading more.

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    1
    We'll All Be Dead by Winter
    Chapter:4

    Aug 19, 2022

    Yeah, I'm not sure about these last two chapters.

    It feels like playing catch-up with how intense things were before with Kiro's relationships. I imagine that is because there is more attachment to Kiro's friends rather than Maia's friends. Sally and Birch had a sidelined role, it felt like, up until recently. I don't really think they're quite developed enough at the moment to have such an intense impact on the reader and the plot as it is intended to and the last chapter and the start of this chapter is trying to catch up with that.

    I find the hooded character rather peculiar, but I imagine this is someone we've seen before yet I'm still unclear on the motivation beyond the implied monetary gain. Sally and Birch's desire for the fighting ring is understandable as a cover against any retribution/ridicule, but I think that angle could have been worked a bit better. As it stands, Sally and Birch only seem to have a purely material relationship through the ring, though I imagine that behind the scene's some actual friendship could have been brought up (I, however, doubt it.).

    Birch, specifically, is more unhinged than Sally, though I don't know quite how to put it into words on how she is. It's odd that she seems to like being punched/beaten up by Maia, like some kind of debauched individual that sees that as the only route to validation but I'm probably off on that.

    Sally, I'm not so sure about. She seems to be pulled along with things much like Kiro is with his life, but not to such an extent. She seems to have a better interpretation of what is going on and how rough the future might be looking.

    It's hard to draw conclusions of those two, at the moment. There hasn't really been much in the way of content put into them for a solid assessment.

    There's certainly a good thread to tug at here, but it feels like all the substance to it has not been laid till recently.

    Guess we'll see how the rest of it works out, I'm still interested to see what resolution, if there is one, lies at the end of this story.

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    1
    AYR Cover
    Are You Real?
    Chapter:27