May 19, 2025
my prediction/hopege didn't come true and I'll die mad
The beginning of this chapter was my favorite scene bar none, the reason being because Midas showed actual emotion for the first time in the entire story AND it was well-warranted. Might be me reaching, but it felt like he was constantly dissociating near the end, and only realized that he wanted to live once the deed had been done, which is to say that he accepted hope in a sense, so the payoff was done wonderfully 
Having finished, though, I sort of... agree with Han now? When I started this, I did NOT expect the story to end with a devil worshipping cult and a ghost brother. Typing that reminded me of a lot of plays I've read tbh, but like... those plays have a prologue with the cult, or the protagonist dreams of the ghost or SOMETHING like that. Again, might be because I took a break while reading, but the insane mid season genre shift felt dissonant more than intriguing.
I honestly found Soren and Midas to be way more interesting than the other two, so it didn't bother me, but it is kind of annoying that you set up so many things in the first half only to... resolve them off screen so the devil worshipping cult plot could happen? I was really interested to see how the relationship shenanigans would end up in disaster, but no. Nothing. I think what bothers me the most is how characters act like puppets something and, no, I don't mean Midas ironically, nor do I mean that they act like his puppets. They act like yours.
I'll be frank, I see 0 chemistry between Midas and Adella. Adella and Katrina could've worked, or even Soren and Midas for some doomed toxic yaoi, but these two... ehhh... I feel like their relationship barely had any progression and was 98% banter and 2% oh no the story has to go somewhere let's have an insane conversation which she takes at face value despite knowing he's a shitlord. It reminded me of when I told you how they act like they're way closer than they should be at that stage of the story. It's like they skipped the awkward strangers phase and just started bantering, and then... never stopped. Even this chapter is the usual quirky haha dialogue aside from the first (great) scene.
Now, I feel like I do the same as well so I might be projecting 
but they really could've used some actual bonding in order to make this land. It almost feels like you added that at the end to meet the prompt (FUCK I'M PROJECTING AGAIN) rather than because it was a natural development.
This weird behavior goes for everyone except for maybe Kat since her personality is basically being that wench in a friend group that molds herself based on her current relationship. I thought Adella was the most consistent until the past few chapters, since she seemed relatively stable so far, and just casually taking the 'hey I'm possessed by the devil and grew up in a cult and will die' convo at face value doesn't seem like something a rational person would do? She's the sweetest one out of the quartet, so there's that, but I would've assumed she'd at least doubt it. I kind of thought she'd have a convo with the group that'd be like "hey midas finally lost his marbles help" but since there was nothing like this the text implies that everyone just kind of accepted it which is insane. A simple scene from their perspective showing how everyone reacts to the news might've helped, but I digress. At least to me it would've made the rest of the story somewhat easier to believe.
Soren was all but set up to tbe the "villain" of sorts for the first arc, then we saw him getting ruined by Midas and his ghost brother (?), then he stops mattering so the devil plot can perform a hostile takeover on the story, then acts friendly for no reason and says the first half of the story was resolved off-screen. SURELY, I thought, he's gonna do something. He's gonna end up like a reverse red herring and be the one to stab Midas. Surely... because there's no way nothing in the first half technically mattered for the second one, right? But no. No stab. Soren, the rational unfeeling creature, just believed that the guy who tried to ruin his life for no reason had a whole supernatural plot going on, and just went along with it. Just like that. What did he think? Did he think at all?
Siel legit just got mind controlled by the story because there's no way someone could be that stupid, and no, it's not ok because the other characters called him out. In a story full of "this happens not because it makes sense but so the story can happen" moments, this was the worst offender... second to the cult just not being there for no reason? My headcanon is that they all offed themselves after they let the devil run free.
With that said, even though it really annoys me that the first half basically didn't matter (because let's be real, they did not "bond" through it), the whole story had this weird adjacent vibe that didn't take me out even with the insane supernatural twist. Had the plot threads from the first half been addressed beyond a handwave and I would've enjoyed the devil worshipping cult arc more.
Seeing the comments, I believe that this was yet another victim to Contest Rush(TM) so there's that. If you ask me, though, I would've rather kept the story to character dramas full of mentally ill people rather than... well... that, though it still gives me old play vibes. While I enjoyed the characters and think that they're distinct and so are their POVs (very rare in this site I must say), I also think they suffer from the too much banter problem. Even during serious scenes, they kind of devolve into haha quirky dialogue (I'M PROJECTING AGAIN AAAAAA) so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel, and as a result I wasn't really able to get attached to anyone save for, funnily enough, Soren, and even he seemed strangely nonplussed as his friend ruined his life for no reason. I guess it fits his character? But a little less indifference would've overall enhanced this story a lot. Let the boys bleed, not just the girls. While Soren and Midas went around acting too cool for school and detached, the girls cried and spoke about their feelings. I don't wanna go There so I won't point out the obvious, but yeah, Katrina and Adella seemed way more like characters as a result UNTIL THE PLOT MIND CONTOLLED ADELLA, so then, weirdly, the only character who was consistent from beginning to end was Katrina? Saved for that "yep" bit which was not at all like her but we ball
P.S. soren did nothing wrong
P.P.S. so the conclusion to all of this is that the character meant to be inconsistent ended up being the only one who made sense? and the comments seem to hate katrina but now I feel weirdly defensive about her, not her fault she's a plot device whose arc revolves around a man
P.P.P.S. sorry I went there
P.P.P.P.S. I'd agree that the other story is better because the elements blend together rather than clash. I think that in isolation a lot of moments are pretty good to great in this, such as the scene I already praised, or the Soren arc which was by far my favorite, or even the drama with Katrina and Soren at the beginning. The other story so far is a lot simpler which means that it's harder to lose the plot, while this one felt like you were building this complex drama that LED NOWHERE BECAUSE OF THE DUMB DEVIL WORSHIPPING PLOT (sorry that was my demons) (unironically I would have 0 problem with it if you had tied both halves). I enjoyed the story very much and found it fun from beginning to end, but I'm not sure if I liked it. As a first draft rushed for a cringe anime contest it's probably way too good to be here, but if I were to pull it from a bookstore I'd be ???. I hope at least something I mentioned was useful in case you edit this in the future, if nothing else, out of justice for the characters.
