Aug 18, 2023
Was a fun ride and it halted on a high point for now.
I feel a bit unqualified to give too much criticism.
The only thing that comes to mind is the plot element of that creepy child by the water, that was introduced and then mentioned again recently, but not used till now.
I assume you have plans for it later on, but if I am wrong and there is no future plan, maybe cut that part.
That said, good luck with your overhaul.
I'll likely rewrite my own story once the contest has been over for a while. Have been in a bit of a slump and plan to do some massive changes, with only some original chapters contents being reused.
