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Pernodi

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I've decided that now is the time to write my first story. Above all, let's have fun on this journey!

registered at: Jun 02, 2023

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aaa

Jun 04, 2023

I already like the girl, sounds like an interesting character.

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:4

Jun 04, 2023

To:A. Hoshino

If the town is relevant for future chapters then it's fine to explore it a bit more in-depth. By the way, are you in the honeyfeed discord yet? There's a channel specifically to chat about the contest. If you want to trade reads with people and get some pointers, it's the place to be!

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:2

Jun 04, 2023

Solid chapter! I really like how you wrote the action in this one.

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:3

Jun 04, 2023

I'm definitely getting some horror vibes here. If I were you I would try to introduce a stronger hook in this chapter to keep the reader engaged. Not much happened in the first 3/4th of the chapter that we hadn't already seen, like the skeletons and dilapitated houses. (if the houses and bell tower are relevant later on I take my words back) but the final 1/4th had a very creepy atmosphere to it, especially a good job at coming up with that monster. I see that you employ a varied lexicon, which makes the reading more enjoyable.
On to the next chapter!

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:2

Jun 04, 2023

To:A. Hoshino

I still have the tab open and I was planning to read all 4 chapters immediately, but something came up. I'll let you know when I've read the next chapters as well.

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:1

Jun 04, 2023

To:A. Hoshino

The pace was good, not too slow or fast. You ended at a nice cliffhanger which I love to see.
It's on the dense side since this chapter is only narration, but there's nobody to converse with our protagonist at the moment so there's no helping that. Glad to hear you've planned the whole story out, that always makes for a fun experience. Writing is something you have to do everyday (even if you don't feel like it) in my opnion, getting into the writer's zone can be hard sometimes but once you get into it, you won't want to stop anymore.

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:1

Jun 04, 2023

Very mysterious first chapter, it's got me hooked.
Also wow, you've got 4 chapters out already? You're really dedicated to this.

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:1

Jun 04, 2023

To:A. Hoshino

I picture the scene in my head as if it were an anime and try to describe it as accurately as possible, without falling in the writing traps of cramming too much information together (I sometimes fail at this part though), or making sentences run on for too long. I've also learned that short paragraphs are a good way to keep readers engaged. Hope this helps!

On the run with a witch from another world

Chapter:2

Jun 04, 2023

To:A. Hoshino

Thank you, that means a lot to me!
I've been thinking about writing a native-protagonist isekai story for a while now. It seemed like the more interesting route, both from a writer's and reader's perspective.

On the run with a witch from another world

Chapter:1

Jun 04, 2023

To:Syed Al Wasee

Will do, thank you for reading!

On the run with a witch from another world

Chapter:1

Jun 04, 2023

To:kazesenken

I had to nerf the baker, his skill with a rolling pin is unmatched after all.

On the run with a witch from another world

Chapter:2

Jun 04, 2023

Haru is such a sarcastic dork, I wonder if Grace will be able to change him for the better.

Grace Dances Upon the Clouds

Chapter:1

Jun 04, 2023

To:Christian Widjaya

That's a good point. I'll try to avoid that in the future and come back to these early chapters later on to do some editing. Thank you for the support!

On the run with a witch from another world

Chapter:2

Jun 03, 2023

To:kazesenken

All will become clear in due time~

On the run with a witch from another world

Chapter:1

Jun 03, 2023

This is going in a nice direction~

The Vtuber Next Door

Chapter:2

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