ChronoSigma / Comments

ChronoSigma

Male | Late 20s | Romania

Disclaimer: the person in the profile picture is not me, I might get red eyes after missing a night's sleep, but they don't shine 😴

If Isekai were real, I'd be reincarnated as Lelouch in Jojo's Bizzare Adventure.

registered at: Jun 27, 2023

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Aug 16, 2023

To:Sadia Subah Yuika

I love your questions because that's precisely what Harmon is wondering too. You guys will find out the truth as the story unravels.

Hopefully, I replied to your concern about the girl conducting electricity in the Chapter 1 comment

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:0

Aug 16, 2023

To:Sadia Subah Yuika

It's intentional that he acts like the Lieutenants are just numbers. If you've ever worked in a big corporate environment, you might relate to being treated as a human resource by the management. Harmon's amnesia plays a significant role here, with his inability to recall anything about his subordinates apart from his report sheets.

Also, Harmon doesn't glow with his entire body; he can pick the part of his body that he wants to shed light through. He will have some exciting use cases later on, but for now, the spotlight is just as the name says—a beam of light coming from his hand, like the spotlight from a stadium light during a night match.

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:1

Aug 16, 2023

The first few paragraphs were so magical and sublime that I thought we already slid into another world, lol. But to a certain degree, I think we did.

The introduction of Ashiya confused things quite a lot. Is she also partly the creator of these pictures? I guess we'll find out.

There was something eerie about the way you described the last photo. The moment you described her as standing in front of a passing train sent chills down my spine as I thought of the possibility that Kukai got hit by that train while committing suicide, and now she's really just a ghost with Ashiya being somehow in her control—most likely a crazy hypothesis, but for some reason that was first thought

Celluloid: The Magic beneath us

Chapter:3

Aug 16, 2023

To:Sadia Subah Yuika

I should have explained the electricity thing in more detail; thanks for pointing it out. You can think of this as a superpower, with Harmon getting electricity flowing into his body without touching his vital organs—I mean, Pikachu can do that, so it's science! 😆 So the Lieutenant acted as a power generator, and Harmon acted as a light bulb. That's how their teamwork goes.

Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts! I'll revise and see where I can improve the explanations while still not revealing more than Harmon's amnesia allows us to know at this point.

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:1

Aug 16, 2023

To:Sadia Subah Yuika

I'll try not to spoil this too much for you, but let's say "science student" is indeed part of his backstory.

As for waking up one day, you should think of it as a step-by-step process (somewhat similar to Alzheimer's) where memories are lost one by one until you realize everything is gone.

In any case, I was trying to get people into the story in fast mode, but the following chapters will get into more detail. I'm happy I stirred so many questions; the mess in the prologue is somewhat meant to reflect the mess in Harmon's life at this point 😆 and due to his amnesia, Harmon is pretty much having the same questions you're having

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:0

Aug 16, 2023

It's fun to think of skyscrapers as littering the area 😆

Always nice to see a bunch of boomers helping out a Gen Z with strong relationship advice that the Gen Z would obviously not follow anyways.

I feel that we're going to get into action soon

Celluloid: The Magic beneath us

Chapter:2

Aug 16, 2023

Sorry, I meant the focus attention, not perspective

The World Hereafter

Chapter:0

Aug 16, 2023

"You seem to be like the new student" - I don't understand this phrase, you either missed commas, or you might want to drop the word "like" entirely (it's a cool Gen Z interjection, but hard to follow in writing)

Still annoyingly long paragraphs, and sometimes hard to follow who is saying what.

By this point, the story became unexpectedly fun, and a strong but welcoming vibe change.

"4 handsome boys" - is every male character in this story handsome, or is our MC just incredibly horny? (I get it, they are idols, don't mind me...)

I am the heroine

Chapter:4

Aug 16, 2023

" she had Asian looks" - as a non-Asian, I have no idea what this means 😅
"hr" -> her — I recommend using some spell check; I use Grammarly for example and it saves so much proof-reading time

I think one of the reasons I'm somewhat hooked on this story is that there is a nuance of melancholy (borderline depression) to it, coming from an unfilled search for something. I write about these things a lot myself. It's part of life, but few people accept it

I am the heroine

Chapter:3

Aug 16, 2023

I think this chapter went a bit low energy compared to the previous one, perhaps because of too many descriptions of the same thing over and over. It's also the fact that the text gives little room to breathe—you could use more paragraphs here; a paragraph in a regular novel has an average of 100-200 words.

Looking forward to seeing how Stella will ultimately meet Jake and the other people.

PS: When you have time, I'd also love to hear your opinion on my novel.

I am the heroine

Chapter:2

Aug 15, 2023

Well, that was way too short, but the characters made a mark with the brutal polarity between MC and his potential love interest (assuming Kukai is going to be the love interest). Anyways, captivating so far, but I have no idea where we're heading 😆

Celluloid: The Magic beneath us

Chapter:1

Aug 15, 2023

Quite captivating, and I love the topic we're dealing with here. I assume Stella will act as a medium for those seven men, telling the past and future and changing their lives radically as her life also changes.

At some point, the narration gets a bit confusing, and I think you're missing details. For example, it's not clear who Jake Miller is. Is it the same person as Mr. J? But then who is Mr. Tom? I've read that part twice, and I still don't get what happened in the last two paragraphs and what Jake Miller coming out Live even means... was he dead, and Stella somehow brought him back?

"He is resting in peace now" - wait, did he die??
Also, most people would consider "getting rid of anxiety" an impossible wish, lol.

I am the heroine

Chapter:1

Aug 15, 2023

Are Ren and Nila the same as the characters in the previous chapter? What is their goal? What happened to them? I don't know; I'm still confused. But the plot is revealing itself bit by bit, and I'm seeing some in-depth emotion from these people. I'm seeing some improvement in the narration since the previous chapter; somehow, the story is easier to follow.

If you have time, check out my novel as well. I also keep a vast amount of mystery around my characters, so I think you'll resonate, and I'd like to hear your thoughts.

The World Hereafter

Chapter:1

Aug 15, 2023

I assume that the man and the woman are some magicians in hiding, perhaps after a battle. A very brief chapter and I'm not sure I know what to make of it. It leaves me somewhat confused. Also, the switching from one perspective to another (e.g. from the man to the woman) is a bit hard to follow.

The World Hereafter

Chapter:0

Aug 14, 2023

"putted" -> put
"as he speaks" -> as he spoke
"leaved" -> left

Using Grammarly or a similar tool to spell-check before publishing would be best. The story is excellent, but if the language and grammar aren't adjusted, it ruins the experience.

Ashes of War

Chapter:0

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