Oct 01, 2017
Truth be told, quite a few of my characters' names have been recycled from previous stories and projects, so you don't need to be ashamed to admit that.
There's been a marked improvement between this chapter and the previous one, but there are still spots you could improve:
* There's a sentence early on that should go, "I looked around to see whether there was any land around me..."
* Indicating thoughts using italics and quotation marks is a bit awkward - normally just picking one and sticking with it does the job best.
* "...I was really surprised." - The reader understands why Domino is so surprised but you could elaborate on the action of being surprised. Does Domino cover her mouth when she gasps, does she make exaggerated faces when she's surprised (etc. etc.)?
* By the way, isn't she wet from falling into the water? Is there some function of the floating fire ("flying fire" doesn't quite make sense unless it has wings) that dried her, or was there some length of time between getting rescued and her waking up?
* "Handsome" is subjective. You need to elaborate on why Domino perceives this blonde-haired, blue-eyed man to be handsome - was she surprised because of his handsomeness? Does she have a thing for guys with ears and tails like his? What animal's tail and ears does he have, anyway? Stuff like that.
This list definitely isn't definitive, but it should be a start.