Jun 24, 2018
To:Deleted User
So far I think I got everything that needed fixing. Also, I used 'gape' seven times (I counted on MS Word), and I don't feel proud of that ^_^;
I cut the run-on sentence, I fixed the redundant wording, and I think I fixed the present tenses, though if there's more, please feel free to point it out. I also fixed the typos but I didn't understand the 'real live magic' being a typo? Anyways, I changed it to something else. And about Tsubaki. I think I fixed it up a little, so hopefully it won't show so much exposition this time!
Thanks so much for putting so much thought into this. No matter how many times I run this through every couple of months, these kinds of things escapes me. This is why I'm glad I published it here for you guys (the ones who read and give your honest thoughts) to rip it to shreds and pieces in order to make it into a better story. Don't worry, I'm not butt-hurt. In fact, I'm grateful!