Jun 16, 2023
I like the dialogue Stan has with his guy friends, and the inner monologue that goes with it. The chapter does seem to drag a bit in the latter half, in part, due to the low energy Stan has. It doesn't have to be any less dynamic even when his talk with the girl is muted. Feels like he would have more sarcastic internal thoughts during this time.
Also, I think your first paragraph could use some work. It feels too vague, so it didn't grip my attention as I was left wondering what to make of it.
