Jul 29, 2022
Wow, that turned into Highschool of the Dead rather fast.
The writing is simple and easy to read. I would say that some of your sentences can be lumped in a paragraph, but that doesn't matter so much aside from style.
The bit with the teacher at the end seemed a little unnatural. I would have expected (with such careful stalker patience), that he would put the moves on her discreetly rather than come right out and say it, making Ori slowly realize that even he was setting off red flags.
