Jul 18, 2025
I like that you start off with something relatable like a nursery rhyme. However, I feel a little disoriented in the setup. There are very brief mentions of why the MC is unhappy, but it's hard to relate to and vague to really sink in.
It then proceeds into a whirlwind of a fever-like transmigration where they turn into a shooting star and crashes into the garden of two new characters. It's a nice bit of imagery but nothing to anchor a plot to, so I feel a bit disoriented by what is actually going on.
