Jul 26, 2023
There's a part of me that sees how immersive and well-thought out the descriptions and flow is. It sucks you in a certain way, especially if you care about the character at all.
However, there's the rub to this. There are certain parts where it's easy to tune out because it's too heavy and deep. It's not writing for the standard casual reader. It's writing for those that appreciate a certain level of style.
It's divisive - either in the sense that it's a rant that gets sorta info-dumpy or it's the flavor that really gets you into a certain character.
Dunno if that's what you were going for in this rewrite (which feels a lot like it's taking a page from Pidgeon), but personally, I preferred the previous version. But that's just my taste.
