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Slow

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I mainly love writing anime inspired stories. So I am really glad I found this platform
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registered at: Dec 01, 2024

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Oct 05, 2026

Feedback #21

Now that I understand the idea and vision behind these letters, I'm not going to repeat my previous feedback here, as those points didn't quite fit with the intended format you're going with.

But this, again, does continue to do a good job at showing us Yui's internal thoughts, as well as her goals, ideals, and ambitions.

Excellent job, Momo.

Flowers on the Battlefield

Chapter:21

Oct 05, 2026

Feedback #20

This was such a sweet chapter. The internal struggles of Yui, how Crow stood by her side, comforted her, and talked things out with her, as well as her subtle guilt and the things she had to do in order to end the war way back when, were all handled very well.

There's not really much to point out in this chapter. Everything it tackles is building upon what we've seen in the previous chapters.

It was also good to learn that her songs are numerous, with each one carrying its own weight and power. I just wish we had gotten to see more of these songs in action in the previous chapters. Maybe she could have simply used them in other creative ways in her daily life, like using one to push herself higher when jumping. These are just random thoughts I'm having, but I'm just trying to get the idea across.

We already saw her use one of her songs way back in Chapter 10, which helps us as readers understand the weight on her shoulders when she talks about what she did in the past.

That's why I clarified that as long as the status quo is established beforehand, everything else that builds upon that foundation becomes much more powerful. When the reader already understands what she's capable of, seeing her talk about the things she had to do in the past carries a lot more weight.

Prishu was also a nice addition. It was fun to see that little, cute dynamic between her and Yui. That character is starting to grow on me.

Anyway, this was another fun chapter. Excellent job, Momo.

Flowers on the Battlefield

Chapter:20

Oct 05, 2026

To:Momo Stella

yeah, I guess for The mercenaries it was like that kind of situation where you don't really know how dangerous something is until you are confronted with it. they thought they could just get a quick cash in from the demon empire by bringing the exiled clean back home for imprisonment.

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:25

Oct 05, 2026

To:Momo Stella

Yeah, I initially wanted to stop because I thought, to give the story the breathing room it deserved, I would need to take frequent breaks so I wouldn't burn myself out, while also preserving the integrity of the story and not rushing it.

But somehow, thankfully, I was able to pace myself properly and finish the story in time for the contest deadline without sacrificing the quality of the pacing.

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:22

Oct 05, 2026

To:Momo Stella

that's right, completely skipped My mind haha.

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:23

Oct 05, 2026

To:Momo Stella

Yes, I'm glad you liked the chapter. And yes, I make sure to carefully balance the lighthearted comedy with the serious and emotional moments whenever the story calls for it.

Also, that's a very good observation you brought up. Mary is smart enough to realize that her presence in the town is a danger to other people. But as you read ahead, you'll find out, without spoiling anything, that she really does know what she's doing and understands the danger she poses.

However, there's this little selfish part of her that wants to stay with the girls, and it won't let her do the smart thing in time.

So yeah, you were 100% on the money there. She knows what she's doing, but she's also being a little selfish, and that will eventually cause something major to happen.

And yeah, I assume since there aren't many vegetables growing around there, most of the demons are carnivores. But they still import fruits and crops from their other allies within the demon realm, where things like that can grow.

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:23

Oct 05, 2026

To:Momo Stella

hey, she doesn't like people calling her miss Leafy lol
I'm glad you caught the reference.
and yes, Mary is about to do something about her stalker in the very next chapter.

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:22

Oct 05, 2026

To:Jen_F

you know, I am really glad she comes across a sweet and cute and endearing to the reader.

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:6

Oct 05, 2026

To:Jen_F

I think for somebody trying to hide the fact she is super strong, adventuring is the last thing Mary would want to do lol

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:4

Oct 05, 2026

To:Jen_F

you have a very good nose there

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:3

Oct 05, 2026

To:Jen_F

haha, I'm sure Mary would have struggled 10 times more than she did in this chapter if she wanted him to take a shower

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:2

Oct 05, 2026

To:Jen_F

she is very sweet yes.
lol, a large hat will be too risky

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:1

Oct 04, 2026

To:Momo Stella

Yeah, LOL. There was something funny about the first half of this chapter. I was already pretty far into the story when I suddenly realized, "Wait, assistants don't usually get paid the same amount as their bosses." LOL.

Mary should technically be receiving, if anything, around 30% of what Leafy makes. But when I realized that, instead of going back to change the original Chapter 4 and update the split to 30%-70%, I decided to just divide their jobs equally in this chapter.

In my opinion, Leafy is the kind of person who would deliberately want to pay Mary as much as she possibly could, even if it meant putting herself in a position where she might struggle to cover her own living expenses. So after planning all that, the next natural best thing someone like her, who wants to become an adventurer, would want to do to solve her money problems is to visit a dungeon with her powerful friend.

As for the part about Mary's morning routine of snapping off her horns and eating fried dragon eggs, I wanted to repeat it a third time. But after already showing it in detail twice, I decided to leave it up to the reader. I just trusted that whenever we see Mary in town, the reader would remember that she had already gone through that morning routine before leaving her house.

And little Monica. Finally, little Monica is, both in her name and in her goals, ambitions, and dialogue, a slight reference and nod to a particular heroine from a popular anime. I hope you catch the reference in the next chapter.

Thanks for reading!

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:21

Oct 04, 2026

To:Momo Stella

Mary really doesn't like lying but she has no other choice.
it's really painful to her.
yeah she specifically lied about a village far far away because she knows that the girls wouldn't easily investigate.
and I'm glad her excitement of being accepted came out very well here.

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:20

Oct 04, 2026

To:Momo Stella

Yeah, the excitement part is understandable. She probably should have been more excited, and I would have made that even clearer if I had caught it at the time.

Funny thing is, this chapter was initially one long chapter, but I split it down the middle because of their message. As you can see from the other chapter, each half was ultimately meant to give Mary a different kind of fulfillment for her character.

And yeah, I didn't really fully research the basics of sword training, because I was only going to use it in this chapter to show that Mary was training the girl. So I just took little bits and pieces of martial arts that I picked up from high school, combined them with some very good guesswork, and imagined what it would be like to train somebody with swords. LOL.

From Empress to Commoner: The Former Demon Queen's Quest for a Peaceful Life Begins with Becoming a Hero

Chapter:19

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