Jun 11, 2025
Elena. I want to thank you for sharing. Putting your story out there isn’t easy. Your story is nice and cute. you have believable characters and the beginning of a good story. I personally am looking forward to seeing how it develops. I would say that the most important thing is that you are happy with it. If I were to make one suggestion it would be to ad more sensory details. Yhe story is mostly told from the perspective of Shun. we should get some insight in what he sees, hears, feels. Give us more about what is going on in his head, what he is thinking. Help the reader feel like they are there too. I would not force anything though. write in a way that is comfortable to you. The most important thing is that you continue to write.
