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Sep 17, 2025
Thanks for another chapter. This was a good dialogue between two friends. It kind of sets up the premise for the rest of the story.
It is good to see another chapter. This is a big change from the original, but i like it still the same. I especially loved the kiss in the middle of the battle. Escellent.
Sep 16, 2025
More help from the outside. Glitches everywhere and a recent update that they did not know about. This is feeling intentional. But why? and by whom?
wow. What was in that letter?
Chaya is like an oracle. She is the voice of reason that Rina needs to hear. Rina knows what she needs to do, but accepting it is another thing. This was such a moving chapter.
I hope so too
To:Mara
Thank you. I struggled with that ending, but it felt right.
That was a nice gift. I stil can’t believe that Eri isn’t going with him.
I apologize for making this too short. The story may not be long enough for the contest, but it is complete, and I am happy with it. Thank you everyone who took the time to read it.
I love that you let the characters have redemption. The whole conversation about the role of sin in people’s lives was deep and moving.
The tears are real. I know that the scene is nothing like it, but for some reason Shakespeare’s Henry V came to mind.
Sep 15, 2025
A short chapter. was able to finish while waiting for the bus. Rina is a wonderful character. I like how she looks at Aki and Chaya and thinks of her relationship with Selene. 🥰
So some of the game mechanics still exist in this world. And the game takes over her dialogue sometimes. Interesting
Hmm. Who are they indeed.
Ok. How old is Haruko supposed to be?