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FireFly2789

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registered at: Jul 02, 2025

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aaa

Oct 11, 2025

I want a Ylfa to keep in my pocket. . .

J-1: Angel of Death

Chapter:6

Oct 11, 2025

To:Caelinth

1) Since It was never outlined what an enemy was, what he is patrolling for, or what counts as a demon, how could he accurately identify an enemy? Orcs could have been allies of the nation, for all I knew at that point (and I was scared he'd get in trouble for killing them as a result). What about a family play fighting? Is that not also an enemy to a guy who has seen nothing but war? Why didn't he get specifics, since it was stated before that he knew better than to blindly trust his data.
2) Yes, he had reasons, but neither of those reasons were pointed out until after the action was over. By that point, I was already confused.

J-1: Angel of Death

Chapter:4

Oct 11, 2025

I hope Jere put on his music after this. Just sitting on the floor seems boring as he'll.. .

J-1: Angel of Death

Chapter:5

Oct 11, 2025

To:FireFly2789

Amendment: because she says she is a special case (she never denied being a demon. My bad).

J-1: Angel of Death

Chapter:4

Oct 11, 2025

In my mind, Jere sparing her kind of seems counterintuitive of his mission since, at this point, that sort of trumps all for him.
Since it was never specified (as far as I can tell) what Jere was patrolling against (I'm not sure Orcs are demons, anyway), he could very well have perceived her as a threat as soon as she revealed herself as not human.
An alternative:
A) Her dodging him makes him confused (which it does here), so he does not kill her immediately.
B) It is noted that killing whatever she is doesn't technically violate his mussion (since she says she isn'ta demon), deleting the conflict of interest that might be present here.

J-1: Angel of Death

Chapter:4

Oct 11, 2025

Imps: "Why do I hear boss music?"
Jere: "Oh, that is my MP3 Player. Do not worry."
(*Slices them*)

J-1: Angel of Death

Chapter:3

Oct 04, 2025

God, Jere is the perfect representation of a logical being. I've seen others where their attitude is logical, but their decisions not. Every move Jere makes is based on the protocol he was trained on, and I love how accurate that is for someone in his situation. . .
Can't wait to see if something (or someone) changes that : )

J-1: Angel of Death

Chapter:2

Sep 29, 2025

The fact that you have Jere questioning his role without someone questioning it for him is phenomenal.

J-1: Angel of Death

Chapter:1

Sep 29, 2025

Wow, that went from fifteen to over REAL quick!

J-1: Angel of Death

Chapter:0

Sep 29, 2025

To:Japanese🌹Rose

Thank you! I will be sure to tell her.
The focus is supposed to be on the characters themselves. I tried not to let the romance get in the way of that, though I did try to make the romance an important-enough idea.
I can't say for sure if this is Slice of Life or Drama, since I'm not very good at defining those, but maybe?

Ribbons Apart

Chapter:1

Sep 26, 2025

If there is any chapter that I'd love feedback on, it's this one.
It's my favorite one, in concept.

Ribbons Apart

Chapter:41

Sep 22, 2025

To:Caelinth

I think he's-just desensitized to her weirdness.

Ribbons Apart

Chapter:30

Sep 22, 2025

To:Caelinth

Good. That means I did my jobm

Ribbons Apart

Chapter:26

Sep 22, 2025

To:Caelinth

They did.
With their moves : )

Ribbons Apart

Chapter:22

Sep 19, 2025

Okay, so I went from this chapter to the last one to make sure my advice was still valid.
Immediately, I saw how far you've come throughout this. You've definitely persevered during this, and it shows.

As for the advice: In your next work, keep in mind that, technically, dialogue should have the comma, question mark, or exclamation mark *inside* the quotes. There are other rules on which cases should be capitalized, but I myself screwed that up, so I'll defer to literally anyone else on that.

Either way, I feel like this chapter gives the reader enough to be curious. That's really good.
Don't give up!

Incomprehensible Simplicity

Chapter:0

FireFly2789

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