Jul 30, 2022
Ok so, im mixed on this, the actuall plot itself so far is not bad. You do a good job making it clear exactly whats happening.
My issues more come with the giant blocks of prose and style. While im sure some people like the heavy flow of conseiousness style, I cant say its my thing perse. Also god damn, these paragraphs are huuuuge. Maybe break them up a bit imo.
Dispite that, plot are characters are what really matters, and so far youve done a decent job on the inportant matters. So keep it up!