Aug 23, 2022
To:Bubbles
Sorry to see you didn't like it 🙁
I agree that at certain times, emotions could be executed better along with the voice. Flow could definitely be improved as well, which is something I'll be adjusting after the entire story is posted. However, as for Daiki, we aren't at the point where we can see his true self. As you noted in your review, there's various instances where we see glimpses of his true goals along with his true desires. And as soon as he reaches the city, the real colors will surface... to say the least.
It's been about 9k words, but I carefully made the decision to isolate Daiki at the start of the story not only to add variety to the plot (i.e. a potential arc of the Wastelands), but to restore Daiki physically and mentally before he's in the futuristic city with its own massive load of conflict and exposition, given the type of story I plan to tell.
Although time has been minimal in my hands, my editor and I specifically wrote this story with the idea that we'd follow an "orthodox" webnovel style - not that of a manga or a western YA novel. Granted, it might not match the best of webnovels, but at least the typical kind which avid webnovel readers consume... which, as you know, are quite different than a published book you'd find on the shelf of a bookstore.
Thank you for your review btw! Until next time~