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Ataga Corliss

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yes, I did change my pen name.

registered at: Jul 13, 2021

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Aug 04, 2021

To:Supersession

Your surprise is more than fair. I have a bad habit of describing a character just once, and with only enough detail for the reader's mind to build something off of. That on its own might have been okay, but Mylo's description came in chapter 1, where he was assessing himself negatively against Pelgram's appearance. Another thing for the editing list (I don't know whether he should be hot but not think himself so, or have him be more on the cute-side and Ezre's type—suggestions would be appreciated).

And I'm glad you liked this chapter! (I had no idea it existed until I started typing it—not part of the original plan, but I'll try to continue its thread)

Mylo and the Summoned Hero

Chapter:8

Aug 03, 2021

This chapter's observing made for a nice breather after the heavy material the previous arc went into. I don't mind going down to Kazuta's despairing depths again, but metaphorically coming up for air like this between arcs is nice for pacing.

Backward Steps

Chapter:7

Aug 02, 2021

To:Supersession

I'll keep that in mind. For now I'll leave the prompt as "My New Life as a...", but I'll change it if the story swings farther toward its romantic component. Getting into the top 50 would be lovely, but being true to the story has to come first—if I tell the reader they're getting a romance, then deliver something that only has light undertones, well, that's just rude.

Thanks for the continued support! Always nice to hear from you.

Mylo and the Summoned Hero

Chapter:7

Aug 01, 2021

I'm having a little trouble figuring out which of the contest prompts this story really belongs under. For Kasumi it'd by "My New Life as a...", but from Mylo's perspective it's somewhere under "Impossible Romance".

I'd appreciate anyone's input as to which prompt the story best lines up with.

Mylo and the Summoned Hero

Chapter:7

Aug 01, 2021

To:Andromeda

Thanks for the comment, I'm glad to know that perspective change worked out. It was something of a shot-in-the-dark choice.

I think Mylo's going to remain the primary perspective character, but I do plan to tell some of the future chapters from Kasumi's perspective as well (that includes the one I'm currently drafting).

Mylo and the Summoned Hero

Chapter:3

Jul 30, 2021

Ah, that's an interesting wrinkle. I'm glad to see—by way of Kazuta's past self—that he's capable of being a bit more caring than he remembered (lending her the jacket and such).

But those seem pretty in-the-moment patches for Hina's enduring struggles. He's got *a lot* of room to become a better person.

Backward Steps

Chapter:5

Jul 30, 2021

To:Supersession

I said "aggressive use" in the approvingly-hyperbolic sense of the phrase. Could have been more clear on that front...so let me be clear now:

No, I don't think you're over using emdashes. I just think nearly everyone else totally neglects them (or accidentally uses a hyphen or endash in its place, which makes me just a little sad).

Why I Write

Chapter:7

Jul 30, 2021

Ah, Kohei-kun, the sweet summer child. Surrounded an all sides by eccentric personalities and somehow didn't realize that he was going to get outmaneuvered at every turn. Such is the fate of the serious minded Main Character (and it's funny every time).

By the way, I'm glad to see I'm not the only one making aggressive use of the emdash—punctuation's unsung superstar.

Why I Write

Chapter:7

Jul 28, 2021

This is pretty unique.

I have encountered a few stories that go through someone's memories, but those all approached the concept from a different angle—a hero retelling his own story, a son trying to find the truth in his father's tall tales—usually celebratory. The old man's searching for guilt in Kazuta, and the small ways Kazuta resists give me the impression that this is a judgement, and probably a harsh one.

Of course, the story may yet unfold in a different direction, but the possibility that there's some wrongdoing the old man wants Kazuta to confront is an interesting one.

Backward Steps

Chapter:2

Jul 28, 2021

This is a cool beginning. The events (traffic accident, meet a god) suggest isekai, but the tone feels darker, more introspective.

Backward Steps

Chapter:0

Jul 27, 2021

To:Supersession

I like the new cover, though I admit I like the old one too.

Covers, and graphic design generally aren't strong suits for me (the fact that I managed to throw together a cover for my own novel that looks half decent is a minor miracle). But I can say the new one feels like it identifies its genre clearly, while the old one struck me as a having a more outsider aesthetic.

That's as far as I can go with art critique.

Why I Write

Chapter:6

Jul 27, 2021

Another fun chapter. Yukimura likes to live dangerously—dangerous to the blood vessels in the anime protagonist's nose, if we're playing by the old ways.

Oh, by the way, I saw some chatter regarding references and the MAL x HF contest in the Honeyfeed Discord. One of the admin/mods said references are fine, but recommend we give anything copyrighted a wide berth. So I think the "gender equality advocate" ref might be fine, but the name-dropping of Oregairu in chapter 2 could be trouble. Sure, it's a contraction of the full title, but it seems like an official one—it might well be copyrighted. Would be wise to replace it with a parody title, just to be safe.

Why I Write

Chapter:6

Jul 27, 2021

To:Andromeda

"false prophet as prelude to actual an apocalyptic scenario"

You put it so succinctly, and it describes the chapter so well, it sounds like it has to be the thought that motivated my writing. But alas, no. Instead I was just like, "what would be a funny, light thing to have to deal with before dealing with the plot point? Minor staffing issues and typos, of course!"

Is it possible to be 5 parallel universes ahead of myself? I must have been when drafting this to not realize how neatly that tied together.

Mylo and the Summoned Hero

Chapter:2

Jul 26, 2021

There's plenty of fun to be had poking fun at light novel authors and their impossibly sharp-witted protagonists. And the dark haired beauties the author pairs them with.

But I think we laugh out of jealousy (the sales numbers some of these tropey series rack up, my gods!).

Even if an author does begin at a place of personal-fantasy, I doubt the story stays there for long. Characters can buck like wild horses, happily overturning the writer's plans or shapeshifting themselves into something unexpected.

Why I Write

Chapter:5

Jul 25, 2021

Very fun banter! Yukimura's a pretty ridiculous person, but very fun.

I look forward to seeing which Laws of Anime this foreshadowed unofficial lit club violates.

Why I Write

Chapter:4

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