Jan 19, 2022
To:Bubbles
Greetings Bubbles, thanks for the review and the uncanny accuracy. Your claims and observations are not unnoticed and not exclusive to you. I myself began this bit of writing and all of that because I just felt like doing a bit more writing on the spot and randomly jumped back to Honeyfeed and saw the monthly challenge.
If we want to talk about the story being the hollow and the more than confusing perspectives swaps, they were noticed to be definite issues right after the fact. The story, I never expected it to be all that coherent, even if I wanted it to be that point, as well as it just pacing rather poorly. I found that I had an idea and just started writing stuff and well, some ideas flop you know? Not that the idea of the story isn't salvageable, I think that you'd agree that cleaning it up and giving a cleaner/clearer goal would do wonders.
I did enjoy writing parts of this story but issues did just arise from attempts of a series of ideas. My biggest one that I found myself in terms of tests was that of the perspective swapping; it sounded very cool at first and I could imagine it in my head, and then I found random issues with formatting that made it not work. Like I am writing on my computer but I originally forgot that people are going to have different screens, maybe devices, and that is going to change how the material is viewed. I used to have some lines that separated the perspectives. It kind of was a cheap way out but it felt better then. Those lines though did not translate well into different screen sizes and especially to phones. I actually checked it out originally because @momentie brought it up.
But yeah, moving on from that bit of jargon, I found quickly in later chapters that the other voice had a different effect than desired. An issue on my part with having some issues with perspectives.
But yeah, once again, thank you very much again for the read. All reviews are very helpful as I am sadly not the greatest judge of writing and feedback on what works and doesn't make the learning process that much easier. While I was finding that I may not want to continue this story at the moment, I would love to have you check out other works that you happen to stumble on over to, and I honestly desire to check out some of yours as well!
-Kai
