IceDonut

IceDonut

25 | him/his | European

Writing since 2016 to find the fine line between the bittersweet beauty of sorrow and the feeling of deep human connection, creating worlds that provide shelter from reality, but also embrace its way of being.
I occasionally write comments/critiques that could be short stories on their own, so sorry for all the flooded comment sections 😅
Read into my current novel "Celluloid", if you are interested!

registered at: Sep 08, 2021
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    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2022
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2023



    Aug 22, 2023

    Hmmm ... still some profound talks about light and darkness, that seem to have a deeper sense ... but are still not entirely clear 🤔
    For my taste, the mysteries you weave are a little bit too front and center. I mean it's great to have big parts of the story revolve around a mystery, but it almost seems like you're adding more and more questions on the stack, so that it feels like once I've found the answers at the ending (or near the ending), I have to read the entire story again to actually understand what they are talking about. I certainly like riddles and mysteries, that can be uncovered when noticing the slight foreshadowing, and I also like the idea that you have an overarching theme that only gets fully revealed at the end.
    But what I understand right now is philosophical chitter chatter that feels like it somehow could make sense, but only upon seeing the bigger picture. It's too much mystery, and even the scenes that seem to unravel or explain things (the retrospectives to the girl and young Harmon) are shown outside of context and only explain so much. I think you should try to also give your readers a few puzzle pieces and a few answers - explicit answer - along the way. This way it seems like at the end we will have a big reveal that uncovers everything, but on the way most people jumped off, because they were too confused by what was going on.
    Of course, there will be people who enjoy that they don't understand and can interpret a deeper meaning into everything, but I think the majority would at least enjoy a few fix points in an otherwise dark room 🙂

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    1
    Our struggle between Light and Darkness
    Our Struggle between Light and Darkness
    Chapter:10

    Aug 22, 2023

    To:ChronoSigma

    They acknowledged that it should be his honest feelings and efforts forming whatever work he comes up with for Akimi and not those of a group without affiliation to her. They will still support him and give him feedback for whatever he comes up with, but they will be more like editors instead of co-writers. After all, this conflict is between him and Akimi (respectively her parents) and since only he knows her, only he can direct the whole endeavor.
    Nonetheless, the club's topic will still be the fantasy/fairytales as well, so there might be one or another work inspired by her artworks as well 🤭

    And yes, at this point, I've come to terms with the fact, that I won't be able to flesh out other characters even more and they will remain with "just" their quirks, but without a deeper backstory and developments.
    As Katsuhito wrote it a few comments further down: This is more like a movie than a seasonal work and I haven't been able to provide for more background and deeper arcs for side characters in the time. If I'd be able to rework this, there would probably be a whole bunch of new chapters dedicated to the side characters (the ideas and approaches are still there, but I'm too slow to execute them properly in time 😅), but due to the time, I now have to bring the main plotline to an end. According to my current plans, the novel will just be finished before the deadline hits.

    Ahhh, I still have to watch the Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumia, but I think I know where you're going there! Maybe we have luck and Ikaritake's friend from the art club is aiming to become an animator, who can create Cells in no time ... 🤭

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    1
    Celluloid Cover Image
    Celluloid: The Magic beneath us
    Chapter:18




    Aug 21, 2023

    To:minatika

    "What exactly are you using this stuff for?"
    "Dissolving body parts."
    "What?"
    "What?"
    😂

    I think especially in the hobbyist area, it's the go-to way to do the development like this - since proper darkrooms are really expensive. Plus you can do all the stuff with the chemicals in regular daylight ... perhaps even outside, if you take care to not spill any of the chemicals. At least that's for color film.
    I also watched a few videos and almost all the guys were like: "Yeah, also it's very important to wear a mask and gloves while doing this! The chemicals are highly toxic so you don't want to breath them in!" - One proceeds without gloves or mask, another holds his breath while doing all of that ... And I was just like: *visible doubt* 😂
    I hope, this portrayal was responsible enough while still being home-made enough. I mean they even used respirator masks with carbon filters ... 😅
    But if you could use red light after the first stage, they were just black and white photographs? Or was this a special type of film/chemical you used? 🤔

    Just to drop a few background info there: The reason why Rakuko was so friendly towards Takurou in the beginning was, because she knew Akimi had a crush on him. Since Akimi herself was too reserved to approach him, Rakuko thought to use the chance and lead them together. She didn't know and didn't plan him to develop a crush on her at first. That's why Akimi got a little mad and snappy at him ... until she found out that his feelings had really turned towards her. And yes, I think that makes it even a little more cute 😊
    Glad you also liked their kiss in this special place!

    Thanks for reading and all the long comments! These are the best! ❤️

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    1
    Celluloid Cover Image
    Celluloid: The Magic beneath us
    Chapter:15