IceDonut / Comments

IceDonut

25 | him/his | European

Writing since 2016 to find the fine line between the bittersweet beauty of sorrow and the feeling of deep human connection, creating worlds that provide shelter from reality, but also embrace its way of being.
I occasionally write comments/critiques that could be short stories on their own, so sorry for all the flooded comment sections 😅
Read into my current novel "Celluloid", if you are interested!

registered at: Sep 08, 2021

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aaa

Aug 21, 2023

To:minatika

Great! Then now, I've taken you on a safe trip into a penthouse without the need to be afraid of the heights! 😁 Win-Win
And yes, buildings sway. Especially during strong winds, like typhoons 🤭

Yes! I've also seen, you used "Rokkun", which is actually quite similar. But I really like using the honorifics in dialog to add the additional layer the Japanese language offers. It's nice seeing the names change from last name to first name to nickname, as the relationship progresses and just from the was someone calls someone else, you already know what their relationship towards one another is.

I think that the menstruation and everything is talked about too little. But it's nothing that should be stigmatized, so I thought this would be a good way to show Takurou caring about her and treating as what it is! 😊
So thanks to all women on this planet on behalf of all men for suffering through one of the most metal body reactions, necessary to even bear the children of this world! ❤️

I'm really glad you like the way their intimate interactions are portrayed. I tried showing that it's not always about making one step after the other, but more about a mutual understanding and moving at a steady pace 😊
And yes, things won't go too far on this end! 😅

Celluloid: The Magic beneath us

Chapter:14

Aug 21, 2023

To:minatika

Take your time! There are a few chapters I published until here 😊
And I'm glad you like the pacing! (Sometimes I wonder how I manage to write the chapters so quickly 😅)

Yes, the first half of this chapter is meant to portray the feeling of a montage sequence in movies. It's actually not meant to feel all over the place, but I plan on reworking this chapter anyways, to make the scene shifts more apparent. I think as it is the idea was good, but still lacked in it's execution. Maybe there are reasons people hadn't written scenes like these in prose 😅🙈 But I'll give my best to make it work!

And yes, we'll see a double date soon, where we also get to know Ririi a little better, but I won't be able to pull off a whole character arc there ... so no too high expectations! 😅

He will! 😉 After all, a little bit distraction can't be bad! And they surely have a nice place, that's for certain! 😂

Celluloid: The Magic beneath us

Chapter:13

Aug 21, 2023

To:Deleted User

The crowd cheers on him! 😊

Celluloid: The Magic beneath us

Chapter:18

Aug 21, 2023

To:Katsuhito

He touched grass quite often there. And yeah, I think I tend to add too many characters and end up not being able to flesh them out enough 😅🙈
But I'm glad their (not shown) history still peers through 😁
And I'm glad the movie influence in this also shows! And yeah, this is more arranged as a shorter, continuous story, like a movie as well. I guess yours probably provides for too much content for at least one season 😁

Thanks for reading! 😊❤️

P. S. His mistake for choosing the jealous and violent Tsundere as a girlfriend 😜🫣😅

Celluloid: The Magic beneath us

Chapter:18

Aug 20, 2023

I swear to you, when you wrote that Ichika would go on vacation as well, I just KNEW they would meet there somewhere 😂
Guess, destiny doesn't want you to get Ichika off your mind, Haru ... 😅

Also I had slight Toyoshima-vibes with Wataru I have to admit 😂 Heart of gold with a big mouth 😂👍
Great Summer chapter, and I'm also getting a few Blue Memories flashbacks when I see you writing about the Summer at a beautiful beach 🤭
Great chapter and thanks for writing! 😊❤️

Love, Manga & Blackmail: A Secret Otaku's Countdown To Romance!

Chapter:35

Aug 20, 2023

To:ChronoSigma

Oh, I didn't know that. But it's like with many things, just like Songs for example: They can be translated, but you always loose something on the way. But cool approach there, definitely! 😊

Aha ... Vital information added! 🤔
I still don't see how the synopsis plays a role in this, but guess, I have to wait and see 😅

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:4

Aug 20, 2023

To:ChronoSigma

Guess I have to wait for that and decide then 😅

Haha, the world is a village! Either one, exactly! 😂
But really cool, that you have a bit of experience there! And yeah, I had also done a Point and Click Adventure with JS, but I think that's mandatory for Web Developers: Having developed one game for a browser 😂
Yes, I know Ren'py as well. It's definitely great for creating VNs! But, while enjoying to play VN, it feels more like reading an (interactive) book and that's what I can already have if I just write a book. I personally enjoy to develop games with more interactivity, but I have to admit, that maybe doing something like this might be a better approach in order of time efficiency ... so maybe I should consider that 😂

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:1

Aug 20, 2023

To:ChronoSigma

Guess, Reina is not the average Asian Mom in this way as well 😅

Celluloid: The Magic beneath us

Chapter:17

Aug 20, 2023

Wow, really impressive, that his robots still work the way they do without and microprocessor. Even today's robotics probably wouldn't be able to pull robots with such an advanced sending off 😜
And he does not need to use his digestion system? He only needs sleep and that's it? 🤔 Is he a robot as well? 😅
But our two guys really do have a deep talk there 😊

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:9

Aug 20, 2023

If you look into the abyss long enough, it stares back at you ...
Now I think that there are quite a few parallels to treating some psychological conditions. Like it is okay to rest sometimes and okay to also have darkness - to be sad I guess. But I'm not sure if that's really the way it is meant. 🤔
Nonetheless, I really appreciate the fact that there is more dialogue now!

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:8

Aug 20, 2023

The Shadow Advisor, huh? ... 🤔
I mean generally he seems like a kind nice guy, so I think it's worth a try to listen to him. Maybe this guy is a kind of psychotherapist or something? Someone who, as he calls it, leads Harmon back onto the right way? And to tread this path, he maybe has to tread the path of darkness, even if this is not what he wants to do 😶‍🌫️

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:7

Aug 20, 2023

My money's on the Red Barbarian, who is able to overcharge the tower ... or someone who has not yet entered the stage.
Like this myterious voice! But this old man seems to not be dangerous or to have an ill intent. I mean I would still be cautious, but maybe follow his advice! 😊
And Harmon even unlocked a new power and can shoot several laser beams from his hand now ... but maybe he should try to be a liiittle bit more careful when using it the next time 😅

And we have another blackout, where we meet the mysterious girl. WHO BUILT A SOLAR PANEL JUST LIKE THAT? 😂 I thought you'd need expensive machines for that. Or does she have a superpower that can shape matter into anything she wants? Hmm ... Guess we have to wait for the next time meeting her to find out more 😅 And Harmon still does not remember her name ...

Let's see who this mysterious voice belongs to ... 🤔

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:6

Aug 20, 2023

Somehow, the way the Teardrops are described reminds me of the Slimes from Dragon Quest ... 😂
And we slowly progress through this attack and even see the bit, where the initial attack was launched (the part that Harmon forgot)!
And it seems the enemies are celebrating a big party in the main Tower ... there is no other way the bright light can be explained otherwise 🤔😂

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:5

Aug 20, 2023

I really like the poems at the beginning of each chapter. The one from this chapter especially rhymed very nicely and the repetition was great! I once also had the idea to include something similar at the beginning of chapters, but didn't come around to writing this story yet. I wonder if they hold a special meaning 🤔
And somehow this dream-like sequence with the girl really much feels like it again supports my theory that Harmon lies inside a kind of comatose state ... her yelling at him he should wake up, while he slowly looses his memories 🤔
But then, he wakes up in front of his tower ... the Red Barbarian nowhere to be seen. I wonder, who this girl might be ... this change of place seems to imply that she was the one who attacked him and beat him up, but when something like that is not explicitly shown, it always seems fishy ... like there is still a retrospect coming up, showing how it actually was different. This way or another, you're definitely really good at weaving this mystery! 😶‍🌫️

Let's see if Harmon manages to get back to a viable power source.

Our Struggle between Light and Darkness

Chapter:4

Aug 20, 2023

So both Yuki and Yuuki are part of the student council ... they having some naming requirements there? 🤭
But they are on track of proving their innocence. And I have a hunch that Yuki will mix things up quite a bit there

The Whimsical Matchmaking Brigade

Chapter:26