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Gulfstream

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Just another guy who likes to write. Grew up in the MoN (Middle of Nowhere), and am currently living there.

registered at: Sep 17, 2021

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Aug 28, 2022

To:Taylor Victoria

Good point about Jim! One of the things I wanted to show (as subtly as I could 😀) was how he acts on preconceived notions when it comes to cyborgs like Lev, and that's not good at all (especially with children around, as you pointed out!). Jim's witnessed Dreadnoughts doing horrible things in the past, and reacts according to his training and experience.
But, note that he's pulled a gun on Lev twice, both times thinking that he was saving little Aiko's life -- and both times, it was actually Lev protecting Aiko-chan. At least Jim has the common decency to feel some shame the second time around. 😄 As you probably guessed, we'll see more of Lev and Jim soon. Thanks for sticking with the story!

Challengers

Chapter:20

Aug 28, 2022

To:Taylor Victoria

Jim is between a rock and a hard place, to be sure! Maybe things will look up for him next chapter? 🤞And there's nothing like a typhoon to spice up the ambient noise and atmosphere, in my opinion.😄 Thanks for the nice comments!

Challengers

Chapter:19

Aug 27, 2022

It's about time you said something, Joe! 👏I was wondering when he would come around and say something -- anything -- to Pyro about how he felt. I don't recall seeing that Pyro did much to encourage him, though, so maybe he could be forgiven. And I didn't realize he and Pyro had known each other for three years. Considering their relationship was built originally on threats and turned out the way it did made me think they spent the time healing wounds🤕 as well as developing a relationship. Not your average boy-meets-girl story, is it? 😄
I'm even more curious to see what's in the hallway now!

Pyro's Grand Demise

Chapter:25

Aug 27, 2022

I really like how the chapters flow! The slow reveal of the main character's true nature, the suspense following the arrest (what's going to happen to poor little Hikari?) adds to the interest, make this an interesting read! 👍👍
Good point about the arrest / conviction rate in Japan, the last time I'd checked (several years ago) it was above 90%.

As if I Were Some Sort of Urban Legend

Chapter:1

Aug 27, 2022

To:Momentie

A sad moment, but at least he went down swinging. 😢
Thanks for sticking with the story, I should have the conclusion coming soon! 😅

Challengers

Chapter:27

Aug 27, 2022

To:Taylor Victoria

The contrast between the serious, by-the-book Aiko and the more spontaneous and less serious Peterson was too good to overlook. I would like to have written more about the other characters by this point but was running out of space (and time!). Later, maybe? 🤞
Jim isn't used to talking about his past, Aiko isn't used to trusting people, but his story about the dagger seemed to be something they both could relate to. At least it got Aiko's mind off her airsickness for a few minutes! 😄 And thanks for the kind comments!

Challengers

Chapter:18

Aug 26, 2022

To:Taylor Victoria

Same here. I think I'll be posting twice today. 😅 Let the free-for-all begin!
For me, I think this was the most difficult chapter to read because of the heavy subject matter, but it was also the most emotional (and well written!) chapter. A conversation that takes place in the middle of a fight club arena would be novel by itself, but the topic ...! I *really* want to know what's in that hidden hallway now.😄

Pyro's Grand Demise

Chapter:24

Aug 25, 2022

To:EliteWarrior910

Not a problem, everyone in the story has weak spots. I hope you appreciate Aiko's! I dropped a hint about it in the last chapter, but I hope you enjoy the next one, too! 😄

Challengers

Chapter:5

Aug 24, 2022

I loved that description of the CEO's red lips and smile! I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out she drinks blood. 😄
The fact that the wardens at the facility climbed the corporate ladder through their physical abilities actually strikes me as being at least slightly more merit-based than a normal corporate ladder. And I like that all-natural "Thunderdome" arena carved out of rock. I wonder what the acoustics are like?😄
So, does Pyro need to be in close physical contact with another cyborg in order to use her purple-type powers? That sounds a little risky -- good thing she's so good at fighting!
Looking forward to the next chapter. 👍👍

Pyro's Grand Demise

Chapter:23

Aug 24, 2022

To:Taylor Victoria

One question that could be asked is: why did Jim, who is (apparently) a soldier, think he would be any good playing James Bond? That question gets addressed later, too. The Aiko+Tama team might have made a much better choice. 🤔 But in his defense, he was unable to get permission from a "higher authority" -- and that's when the train started to leave the tracks. Thanks for the comments! 😄

Challengers

Chapter:17

Aug 23, 2022

To:EliteWarrior910

Glad to hear it! 😆 I hope you enjoy the rest of the story, too! Hope you like the transhuman ninja girl, she'll be back. 😄

Challengers

Chapter:5

Aug 23, 2022

To:EliteWarrior910

I don't want to give anything away, but we'll see a lot more of Aiko. I'm glad you found it funny, sometimes injecting humor can be risky! Good luck with those bets! 😁

Challengers

Chapter:4

Aug 23, 2022

To:EliteWarrior910

Good to see you back! 😄 Yeah, I'd go with "or something." I had a lot of fun writing the next chapter and hope you get a kick out of it, too. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Challengers

Chapter:3

Aug 21, 2022

To:Momentie

I felt the need to throw in a plot twist.😄 And what is the secret of Project ROYAL?😱 Answers headed your way in the next chapter (or two)! 😁

Challengers

Chapter:24

Aug 20, 2022

To:Taylor Victoria

I have a weakness for secret bases, whether they're hidden World War II sub bases (which actually existed, as I discovered), underground bunkers in the desert or small-town America (Stranger Things), or just about any James Bond film (I could almost hear the theme music playing at the start of this chapter). I love the setting you've described here, and look forward to seeing more Pyro, Joe, and mom interaction. Hope you get to feeling better soon!

Pyro's Grand Demise

Chapter:22

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