Jul 24, 2022

Woah, that's a very nice opening. The prose here is smooth and gives good characterization all the while, pretty good ending too with the Dianoct, really leaves the reader wondering what's going to happen next!

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Jul 24, 2022

To:Deleted User

Likewise, I'll try to tweak it again, and likewise, thank you for reading!

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Jul 24, 2022

To:Deleted User

Funnily enough, I didn't even put the comedy tag or am submitting this story for the romcom category lmao. But that being said, I am glad you found it mostly enjoyable. As another note, I completely see why you think it moves too slowly. I'll have to go back and remove/edit out a bunch of stuff in the future, thank you very much for the critique!

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Jul 24, 2022

To:shirayuriP

Keep going! I believe in you!

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Jul 24, 2022

Very nice opening you've written! The detail from their previous self and contrast against their present alongside a few interesting bits of information make for quite the captivating read.

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Jul 24, 2022

To:Deleted User

Yep, it certainly is! Gotta do what's necessary to prevent any intruders after all! Though maybe I'll tone it down a little, heh.

Apparently not, then again, there's no saying Azama will get in right? Right? Well, only time will tell...

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Jul 24, 2022

To:Deleted User

Yeah, the VN was just titled 'Tsukihime' so I was a bit surprised you made reference to the anime xD.

Yeah, they completely dumpstered it. In the VN Shiki literally mentions how he cuts down a unicorn and in the anime it's just uh, why 😭. Damn the anime! Though, at least the soundtrack there is pretty good.

It's a honest mistake! Honestly, not sure myself why the anime has Shingetsutan in it, kinda strange, but I guess it kinda helps differentiate it?

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Jul 24, 2022

To:Deleted User

Oh yeah, somehow I didn't realise his name had far in it lmao, nice pun!

Also, I'm glad you see the resemblance, heh. I mean I they're the closest it gets to Nasuverse characters. Also, noooo not Shingetsugan Tsukihime! I mean the anime isn't horrible, but I do recommend reading the VN instead if you have a chance! It's awesome!

I'm glad you think the pacing is fine though! As always, thank YOU for reading and offering such insightful commentary!

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Jul 24, 2022

To:Deleted User

Does he now? I wonder what about him gives that impression, heh.

I was thinking more along the lines of a mix of Cornelius Alba/Touko, given the former's supposed ability to cast fire magic and the latter's Mystic Eyes in Mahou Tsukai no Yoru.

Funnily enough though, Azama's finishing move on Ode'go was inspired by Nanaya Shiki (one of the many Shiki's), so that's something!

Hopefully I'm not introducing too many characters, and as always, thank you for reading!

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Jul 22, 2022

To:Deleted User

That just means you've got good taste!

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Jul 22, 2022

To:Deleted User

Azama is awesome. Heheh.

Yeah it is! I’m quite a Fate fanboy so I decided to sneak a reference in there (even if the soundtrack doesn’t really match the scene cause it’s more of a stomp here lmao). I’m glad you noticed!

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Jul 22, 2022

To:Makech

Oh, I’m really happy to know that coming from you! Thanks a bunch! The story definitely has a mix of comedy/dark elements which plays out more as the story goes on, though I hesitate to say it commits to either. But yeah, the MC is the one on the cover!

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Jul 21, 2022

To:tanktrilby

I see, I see! Well, I'll definitely keep that in mind! Variety is the spice of life after all heh. Seeing that it's enjoyable definitely makes me want to make some more like this down the line though! Thanks a bunch!

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Jul 21, 2022

To:tanktrilby

Oh really? I’m super glad you liked it and found it funny! I wasn’t sure if it came of as cringeworthy so I wasn’t sure about it. Honestly, it makes me happy that you liked it, heh. Still not sure if I would give the story a comedy tag (cause I don’t think it’s consistently so), but regardless knowing you found it funny is really nice! Thank you very much for reading up till this far!

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Jul 21, 2022

To:tanktrilby

I have a faint desire to rewrite this whole chapter lmao. Looking it over I’m really not sure how it holds up, heh

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