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just a writer from the sprawling midwest
sometimes i finish things
What is an Achievement?
Jun 11, 2022
Reverse Isekai??? 😎 Not sure if this is typically my thing as I like more conventional isekai, but the comedic premise has me very intrigued. I might have to keep reading this one when I'm not reading current works and writing my own novels. The chapter itself is well structured as well. You've always seemed to be good at dialogue and humor, it appears. Very cool.
To:Sevenlock
Thanks for reading!
To:AkuaSenpai
Happy to hear you're having a good time! I tried to meld traditional JRPG staples with... newer JRPG staples in my head. Yes, the world is very island-focused, but it has this sense of early modernization about too. Still lots to do, though!
Yep. Tried to make the world building "less is more" while still being important enough. Didn't want to spool too long about who everybody is. I look at scenes like a cinematographer in a lot of ways... 😎
To:Momentie
Well, I'm happy it seems polished when I find my writing her kind of raw at times. I feel like I moved on from the storefront "scene" a bit too quickly, for instance. Thank you, though!
What an obnoxious young woman. This whole family is full of trollish morons, it seems. How will her phone number play into future incidents? 👁️
I'm sure that little sister isn't going to put a wrench in his plans at all! 😂 I assume Aki is about to made a fool of. Regardless, good dialogue and introspection again, don't want to make a habit of saying the same comments though. Loved the phone call bit with his mother, too. This is a keeper in my library.
Seconding Gulfstream's assertion that your writing elevates the material. I love romance anime and manga, though, so I'll have to disagree with them on it not being my thing. The MC is still oblivious and even though the entire chapter is full of first person introspection its still engaging and draws you in. 😎
Bakadere more like. Some of the lines of dialogue felt a bit contrived, but then again both character's are pretty socially inept weirdos and are really good at deflecting with quips... and one of them particularly likes melodramatic redirects. There's a solid developing chemistry here. Good stuff.
I love the back-and-forth between the two childhood friends, though she's not being particularly subtle here. Idiot MC strikes again. Sharp, fluid dialogue. I'm a sucker for good dialogue. Gosh. He's so utterly hopeless and she's as much of an idiot as he is. This'll be something.
Really sharp writing in a personable style. I admit I don't know anything about v-tubers, but an obliviously stupid MC and a childhood friend that has a secret? I'm all about that! 😎 Anyway, the introspective train-of-thought is really good and I look forward to seeing more.
To:WALKER
Thank you so much! I thought spinning a fantasy story this way could be a fun way to do this prompt board and so far I have so many ideas. 😎
Zain certainly is confident. Motorcycle Football, huh? I wonder how the wardens will completely make that way more spicy than it needs to be. 😎 Anyway, good stuff. Looking forward to see how our hero can convince Zain that his face isn't worth punching, but is worth teaming up with!
Yeah, this already has me hooked. Prison death games, amnesiac but plucky protagonist, and snappy dialogue that uses subtle comedy over the usual overwrought comedy I've come to expect. I wonder what kind of games to expect? 🤔
Don't mess with people with edgy names like Zain! 😂 Seriously, though, we've got a good start here with a lot of descriptiveness to latch onto but also personality! A good foundation for the story, for sure.
