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just a writer from the sprawling midwest
sometimes i finish things
What is an Achievement?
Jun 11, 2022
Great interplay between the siblings. Also enjoyed the back and forth between Shun and Yuusuke. Solid character writing and witty dialogue. 😎
To:F.C Fondness
Yeah, I use limited omniscient third person in pretty much all of my work. It's personable and fun!
To:McMolly
Magic engine go vroom! Yeah, I hope I can keep everyone still invested, though, but thanks for the comments. ❤️
Jun 10, 2022
What a cool concept! The writing itself flows well, so it has a good foundation going for it going into the next chapter.
Thank you for the read!
To:Lemons
Yeah, I just don't want to make this feel like a databook so I try to use the worldbuilding sparingly. I'm glad you liked the descriptions and little things, though! Thank you.
To:znf
Thanks!~
The foreshadowing that the MC is about to get his butt whooped is kind of funny. Still engaging. Great fluidity and sharpness in your dialogue. The character chemistry seems to be organic and they bounce off each other well. Another solid chapter. Look forward to the next one. 😎
The chemistry between the two characters here is superb. I always did like the trope where the MC just decides to troll the love interest. I'm still waiting for the "alright I've taken this joke far enough" moment. I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities for that to come. Anyway, excellent character writing. Definitely happy to stay subscribed to this novel.
Kiro is an idiot. His dad is a dad. I've definitely seen these kind of scenes a million times. Solid chapter with some good worldbuilding going on. Doesn't overstay it's welcome, either, so that's a plus. Keep it up. 😎
Between the comedic writing behind the delinquent's antics and Kiro's own idiot-hero-slacker motifs, the sense of personality in the writing here is really good. You might have watched more anime than a human being should consume. Really good stuff and I'm looking forward to where this is going.
Lots of personality presented here in this "Help! I'm a human in a school of monstergirls!" prompt. I'm very curious about this study hall already and Kiro's personality is already pretty well defined. I'll be reading this week-to-week, for sure.
To:Kya Hon
I'm happy you liked the little nuggets. Some think I didn't elaborate enough on some of the items (aric, skilma, etc.) but I think leaving it vague to be explained later is important for setup in a lot of ways. I love worldbuilding but I don't want to just treat chapters like a databook either! Thank You! 😎
To:EphemeralSight
Thank you! I second guessed this opening a lot but it seems like a lot of people vibed with it, so maybe I was too hard on myself! Thank you!
To:Momentie
Thank you so much! Ocean-based anime is always so cool to see. Hopefully, I can capture some part of that in the future in this volume! 😎
