Don't have an account?
Already a Honeyfeed member?
just a writer from the sprawling midwest
sometimes i finish things
What is an Achievement?
Jun 13, 2022
To:Beetrix🐝✨
Appreciate the support! I hope I don't disappoint!
That was quite poetic. I agree with the other comments, the descriptiveness is rich and it is intriguing. A great foundational piece that sets things in motion.
Little rough in some places, but the general premise draws the reader in with some pretty solid character moments from the jump. I'll be reading along to see how this develops. 😎
Jun 12, 2022
To:Feyblue
More that it was *on* the test. I should be clear that she's already passed the entrance exam, which is why she's on the island. Might do with some slight edits down the line.
Us Fantasy Academy people gotta stick together! Anyway, really good start here. Solid descriptive writing and enough worldbuilding to get us to connect to the foundation you're building here.
Lot of typography that needs some work, including in the synopsis. Beyond formatting, your story's foundation is here with some dialogue that feels alright. I agree that the flow is rather clunky and it doesn't read smoothly. I think there is potential here, though. Keep working hard!
Jun 11, 2022
To:swagmc
I sell anime tropes and anime accessories. 😅 Glad, you've been enjoying it. Happy to have you.
To:Rhiannon Altea
I appreciate the thoughts, thank you!
To:Fuzzy Rabid Usagi
Probably because of his personality and his own lack of fulfillment in life. 😎
Sharp writing with a... somewhat unconventional structure? The fourth wall breaking was a bit much for me, but the concept seems strong here. You have my interest piqued. 😎
To:Pike
It is an anime world. So a lot. Thanks for reading!
He's so utterly hopeless. I love their dynamic because... it's just not the typical tsundere-MC thing. They're both utter idiotic otaku and don't know how to talk normally to each other. I wonder what'd it take for Koi to shed some of her armor? Going to be fun when we get there.
This entire chapter is just nervous anxiety introspection and it works. The mundane can be pretty engaging when it wants to be and this is just the kind of important lead-in's we need to get to where we need to go. It's good introspection, too. 😎
To:Kidd
You must have a type! Thanks for the read! 😎
To:Kya Hon
Yeah, a lot of my writing oftentimes emphasizes things that are shown for clarification. Some people vibe with it, others don't. It is what it is, I think. I could do some edits to go into what Miieie knows about phaetonmobiles if needed, though. Will think on that.
Thanks for the critique!
Anyway, really good start here. Solid descriptive writing and enough worldbuilding to get us to connect to the foundation you're building here.