Jan 03, 2025
pro tip: Separate paragraphs according to who is speaking. As in, one person, one paragraph. It's near impossible to read as is. Since it's a web novel, try having smaller paragraphs when possible in general.
Also, the narration itself is extremely matter-of-fact, 0 subtext, no introspection. I saw you're a novice writer, so at this point I'd suggest studying the craft AS you practice. There's plenty of good, free tutorials for beginners. Also, not sure about how often you read, but that arguably helps more than any class ever could.
With that said, it's great that you tried to do this on your own instead of telling a machine to do it for you like a select few novice writers have been doing lately. That alone puts you ahead of anyone trying to shortcut their way into art. I wish you the best c;
