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JB94

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I mostly write for fun and pleasure, along with entertaining anybody who's generous enough to give my work attention :)

registered at: Sep 27, 2022

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aaa

Aug 08, 2023

I do like me a well-written chapter and this one's almost as clean as they come; good sensory descriptions, neatly formatted and generally good vocabulary, which makes for a pleasant read :)

Advising a stranger to rob the establishments across the road instead made me laugh xD

White Wings Café

Chapter:1

Aug 07, 2023

To:Steward McOy

Thanks for the message! I wouldn't have thought to fight through the current technical difficulties and update the various novel descriptions without it :)

One vehicle and three key illustrations remain, so a September release should be on the cards, presuming no mishaps.

I'm glad I got to post something as well; loading a simple web page with the internet connectivity that I've been stuck with for the past couple of weeks is borderline miraculous. The dial-up AOL internet that I used as a child wasn't this bad, I'm sure 😅😞

(Not Exactly) In Search Of An Oasis

Chapter:3

Aug 07, 2023

Oo; a fair bit steamier than anything I expected to read today, heh

The usernames in the chat made me laugh a bit, given the main story content xD

As ever, it's always a pleasure reading and having more of the characters' personalities explored. (Also, I appreciate that sly inclusion of Yasu's post-story life as well 💙)

While I personally avoid writing anything so steamy myself, I really admire the inspiration behind this chapter and the underlying message/ symbolism of it. I offer you bonus kudos for releasing such a chapter in the current competition. climate.

My fingers remain crossed that at least three more likes comes in from somewhere for this series 🥺

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:21

Jun 13, 2023

Interesting premise. If I were to be fully honest, the use of italics is slightly odd to read, given that there's not much difference (if any) between the events described therein and the events described without italics. Similarly, the switch from first to third person narration is a bit odd and immersion-breaking. I can see why it's been done, but I can also see an easy way to achieve the same storytelling result without the switch.

Criticisms aside, the premise is intriguing, the descriptions of events are good and the relationship of Itsuki and Sora resonated with me and a character dynamic that I wrote not too long ago :)

The Time You Waste

Chapter:1

Jun 12, 2023

Interesting premise and I'm liking the writing style as well; good vocabulary, the writing flows smoothly and keeping the paragraphs short, to focus on each individual event is nice to see :)

A Million Different Ways To Love You

Chapter:1

May 23, 2023

I really get the impression that the author is enjoying exploring the characters' dark sides 😆 I'm enjoying hearing about them to be honest; they seem just as plausible and substantial as the brighter elements that we saw more of in earlier chapters, which is no doubt a credit to your character development ability.

It's interesting seeing how the pieces with the political situations are all fitting together now and how the main characters fit into that picture. I'm mostly curious to see how Erika's situations plays out.

I'm still definitely on team Yasu though after receiving a few more character details in this chapter; she's my top candidate to somehow end up time and universe-travelling and crossing paths with one particular oasis-seeker 🌌

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:19

May 16, 2023

Hmm, yes; the coveted oxymoronic combination of combat and yuri 💙

I can totally imagine Yasu as a knife-wielding yandere to be honest. Could she beat Sachiko in a fight though? I'm not so sure ':/

Interesting to see more crime/ action elements being introduced into the story (and your writing), both on the ground and up in space. Good to see that the whirlwind of emotions that come with and from such sudden developments haven't been forgotten as well :)

Slightly off-topic, but; I'm guessing they carried flip-knives with detector-blocking handles/ storage elements? 🤓

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:18

May 09, 2023

Well... This was an interesting chapter to read, in terms of tone and arrangement (it almost reminded me of how I sometime wrote chapters for an almost–complete project of mine). That said, I applaud how well you've written across a variety of emotions and actions in this chapter; there weren't any scenes where the tone or feel felt weaker in comparison to another 👍🏼

The overall bleak and dark home situation that runs beneath and is connected to the ISS makes itself known really well throughout this chapter, which I appreciated. The character death was an interesting feature, in both the development of Sachiko and how it fitted into the wider background situation; explaining the motivations at a later stage was a pretty good decision, in terms of making the plot more engaging too 👍🏼

I really like the description of that third kiss; the description of two different function systems combining was a joy to read, I think mostly because it does a stellar job of conveying intimacy 💙

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:17

May 09, 2023

"characters.They" I think there's a space missing ;)

What a wild chapter, heh. Audio splicing lewd sequences is news to me xD (I've seen/ heard it used for a number of things, but not that 😆) A stark warning that fanfiction can get out of hand pretty quickly, I guess 🙃

Nice to the classic yuri/ GL discussion on whether or not a sexual element is necessary for a relationship to be fulfilling and the discussion not ending with a particular opinion being forced on another :)

Maeko pulling a kinda snakey move toward the end came as a bit of a surprise. Admittedly, I appreciate the drama and tension that it brought, but it I definitely didn't see it coming.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:16

May 09, 2023

Hina x Yasu, the ever-awkward ship ':/

Despite the change in role, it looks like Sachiko still bears the heaviest responsibilities. I like the narrative direction; spending more time exploring the character that she initially presented rather than her being forced to adapt from said character in response to environment changes 👍🏼

The suspense is back, which is good to see; I never quite know how the geopolitical situation will develop, so it's always an interesting element to try and theorise on :)

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:15

May 09, 2023

Congratulations on the 1000 views! I'm glad people other than me are reading the series and hope that 2000 views comes up before too long :)

I like the introspective segment in this chapter. Not that the previous segments in the series haven't been good, but in this chapter, the depth was pretty good I think :)

Pesky space mines, eh? Always a reliable source of distaster ':/ I approve of the design choice for them; based on the description, that's probably how I'd design a space mine as well 👌

Delay in commenting for this chapter as I was abroad and without a reliable internet connection for a few weeks :(

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:14

Apr 11, 2023

Not sure if it's intentional, but the passage starting from "She knew Sachiko wasn't violent..." is repeated 👀

Anywho; how the mighty have fallen, heh

The once seemingly infallible Sachiko continues to unravel and prove that she is indeed human. I wonder how much unravelling is left 😅

I like the description of the heartbeat; I've read a fair few of them but combined with the description of the biological response to the gynoid, it takes on a quite unique feel :)

Obviously, I wonder if there's a violent episode or chapter in Yasu's past that's being kept a secret 🤔

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:13

Apr 04, 2023

Hehehe; Sachiko knows that there's nothing more lewd in the universe than two women holding hands 🥴 Nice to see an exploration of her personal situation, away from conflicts, her duties and the cameras.

Nicely-written and fun to read chapter that could very easily be read and interpreted to speak to any relationship with marginalised/ stigmatised groups of people, which is pretty cool :)

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:12

Mar 29, 2023

Not sure whether or not it's a speech quirk for Maeko, with "Clare", but that recording certainly made for an interesting backstory element :) The fact that hardly any Soviets speak Russian in this universe made me giggle a bit as well, heh

I like how there's an increasing air of tension on the space station (I can't say atmosphere) with Maeko's condition, the various character relationships and situation back on their home planet.

I can see the survival elements taking deep root as well, with the transition of leadership duties to Hina. It'll be interesting to see what she'll do if another tricky situation were to arise 🤔

I get the feeling Hina's new duties don't bode well for Yasu and her desires, but it can be like that sometimes, unfortunately :(

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:11

Mar 22, 2023

Ooo 👀

Quick QC bits; "Hina was filming" - I'm guessing from the surrounding text, that Yasu was filming her exercising? Also the line "she always assumed that what her words ultimately..."; I think the "what" here is sus (°_° )'

Moving on, the drama was interesting (both the political/ warfare situation at home and shenanigans on the space station) and the increasing tension between characters as well. I'll admit, the test for Erika fooled me as well to be honest.

Poor Yasu though (I'm still on team Yasu) :(

I went for funny vote on this chapter because the "watersports olympiad" made me laugh out loud 😆

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:10

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