A. Hoshino / Comments

A. Hoshino

4 Following

14 Followers

registered at: Jun 03, 2023

Roles

Author

Badge

bronze

What is Badge?

Achievements

What is an Achievement?

Report this user

Comments

aaa

Jul 03, 2023

To:Kitsune

Thanks! You'll have to see what comes next...

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:8

Jul 03, 2023

To:Lihinel

Thanks!

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:8

Jul 02, 2023

Finally I finished my exams!!! I'm sorry I didn't upload anything or read anyone's story in the last two weeks, but from now til august, I'll be uploading much more frequently and giving feedback to my fellow writers!!

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:8

Jun 09, 2023

To:Cherry Star

It's fine, I'm from Spain so 🇪🇦

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:1

Jun 09, 2023

To:Cherry Star

Me alegro de que te haya gustado! Espero que el resto de la historia esté a la altura!

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:1

Jun 09, 2023

I liked how you introduced new clues to the backstory of Ren. By the way, are you perhaps not a native English speaker? Because some of the pronouns and verb tenses were a bit off, and sometimes that happens when translating a story (It also happens to me all the time hahaha).

Soulmates of loneliness

Chapter:3

Jun 09, 2023

I see more about the dynamics of the characters now. I liked the staring duel, as it shows a lot of things about Ren as a character. Still, I keep thinking that I'd like to see more about what he thinks or why he does the things that he does. Why did he become friends with Raku? Is it because he feels alone, or something else? Also, I was expecting the characters to be older because of the cover, but when she explained to him what a wheelchair was I went back and sure enough, you already established that they're around 12. That makes their interactions more understandable, and wholesome young romance is the purest form of romance to me.

Soulmates of loneliness

Chapter:2

Jun 09, 2023

I liked that the story introduced many uncommon elements like an MC who doesn't talk, the main girl in a wheelchair, and the shelter for unadopted kids. It really has a lot of potential. The main problem I'd say is that (even though I have the same problem so I don't think I have the right to say this) at some points it seems like you're stating what happens, like an outside observer. With an MC with such potential as yours, I'd love to see the richness of what he thinks and feels to contrast with the fact that he doesn't speak. That'd make for a really interesting dynamic.

Soulmates of loneliness

Chapter:1

Jun 08, 2023

To:Kitsune

It is indeed. I wanted to convey that with the coldness and standoffishness of Dawn, cause she's been alone for so much time that she now finds it hard to interact with others. I hope I made that clear in the story!

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:7

Jun 08, 2023

Also, I just want to say that thank god I made it to this chapter. It was getting pretty monotonous to refer to the as "the boy" and "the girl".

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:7

Jun 08, 2023

To:Chika san

Yep, and he'll be called that until the end of the story XD

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:7

Jun 08, 2023

I really love how you're incorporating real-world references and mechanics exploits, it makes the story feel way more grounded even if it's based on a game.

Maniavolution

Chapter:4

Jun 08, 2023

Oh, no, things were going so well between them. Guess we'll have to wait til the wholesome romance finally settles. I'd love to see how he's going to fix that. Great chapter as always!

The Love of My Life, Miss Workaholic!

Chapter:5

Jun 08, 2023

To:Peace Sign

I hope I can live up to your expectations!

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:4

Jun 08, 2023

To:verntlg

Thank you for your comment! I was really careful not to include references to himself or his past aside from his personality precisely to convey that; I'm glad someone finally noticed it. I hope you enjoy the next chapters too, and remember you can say all your opinions even if they're harsh!

The Isle of the Forgotten

Chapter:1

A. Hoshino

Novels

Gallery

Comments

Reviews

aaa