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fallere_chan

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registered at: Apr 20, 2024

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aaa

Jan 14, 2026

You chunk your words a little too much. Pacing and flow are key. Feel free to read mine for comparison.

Traumata: Relapse

Chapter:0

Jan 13, 2026

To:TheGreatZombini

"blah, blah, blah", "blah, blah, blah", "blah, blah, blah". People don't talk, talk talk. They talk, pause, observe and then react. Pacing and flow is key. Try:

"I just don't like him," Jack's knuckles turned white as he just thought about it.
Macy saw just how much he struggled being in the room with him. Every day in the office felt like an ordeal. Now it was getting worst.

I encourage you to try reading mine.

Twist

Chapter:1

Jan 13, 2026

Best advice, read more. Build a foundation and grow from there.

Twist

Chapter:1

Jan 13, 2026

It's ok but the biggest issue is that you have each character indicated with their name in quotes. No book ever does that unless it's for a text. Remove that and you can up your writing level instantly. Feel free to read mine for comparison.

Miracle Fighters Ascent

Chapter:1

Jan 11, 2026

Yup, you aren't the first one. I had this made with some help with digital software but it was bad with Japanese.

Shin-Seikatsu: The Hero Party Can't Pay Rent

Chapter:1

Jan 10, 2026

Write everything on a notebook first.

Our World Is Over — Our Future Is There

Chapter:1

Jan 10, 2026

Writing advice: write everything down on a book first.

Valdoria

Chapter:1

Jan 10, 2026

Writing advice: get a notebook an write in it first

Fox in the Dungeon

Chapter:1

Jan 10, 2026

Pacing and flow are key to a good story. My tip is write on a notebook first.

Vargshimore

Chapter:1

Jan 10, 2026

To:C0RNL

It takes time. Even I struggled at the beginning. Feel free to read mine. Feedback from your peers is key to growth.

Onmyoji & Yokai

Chapter:1

Jan 09, 2026

Remember the importance of pacing and flow. Too much word diarrhea.

Margin of Error

Chapter:1

Jan 09, 2026

Too lengthy. Split it into 3 maybe 4 chapters.

Faster than the Speed of Love

Chapter:2

Jan 09, 2026

Too much word diarrhea. Ask yourself if any of your favorite authors ever doing something like that.

Cultivation of Freedom

Chapter:1

Jan 09, 2026

This is nice. Hopefully you come and visit to see mine. There is also magical girls in there as well.

I became a Magical Girl only to battle to the death!? Magical Girl, Arcana Majoris

Chapter:1

Jan 09, 2026

There is too much dialogue. Consider pacing and flow.

Onmyoji & Yokai

Chapter:1

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aaa