Jun 05, 2023
Plotwise and pacing, there's certainly enough interest to keep someone reading. I'm curious where the romance will start, especially with no indication of what to expect from the synopsis. Hopefully not too much longer.
I would say the strongest criticism I have is how things are written rather than the content. For the majority of things, actions and environments are stated in an 'as-observed' way with not a lot of feeling behind them. Things are there, descriptors are given, but there's not much connection to how the MC feels experiencing them. There's no real vibe of panic for what should be a confusing and chaotic experience for the MC. As such, I felt a bit disconnected as a reader; it lacked immersion.
Hope this is what you're looking for. Good luck!
