Apr 18, 2025
I would say the one thing that hurts your pacing in this chapter was the long flashback where Riku and Hiroshi first arrive with no memory. Rather than interrupt the morning events with a detour, it would be easy enough to sprinkle elements of them throughout their day.
Secondly, there is quite a bit of generalization in your descriptions, which make it less interesting to read through. I can gather they are in some secluded training village, but what's its name? What do they call themselves? their style of fighting? It's missing some fantastical worldbuilding elements that would help characterize your story's key points of interest.
