Apr 17, 2025
To:Orionless
I'm not sure what to say here. The objective of this chapter in its entirety was to show that the fate of his universe itself was so horrible that he was having second thoughts for an entire week. He remained human.
... What was originally supposed to happen in the story was that Victor was supposed to realize he loves Abigail and regain his mortality. Atlas takes the power and holds up the sky, letting everyone live out their lifespan. This was genuinely the original ending.
But this Victor is not the same. He's a man whose world will die 100% in the upcoming weeks because of "god". He's not driven by love but by guilt in the fact that he's basically ending up watching his world get murdered. Other worlds exist that are fine--but his world is doomed without a doubt.
What Victor is realizing here is that even had Atlas continues holding up the sky, "god" will have destroyed everything soon anyways. He's realizing that there was no way to prolong the inevitable anyways. And suddenly in his mind this power becomes a vessel for "salvation". But he knows he doesn't deserve it (he is "humanity's greatest sinner"). So that's why he folds.
So point of the chapter is saying that Abigail's plans are already completely foiled. And Victor feels guilty enough to go back.
Yeah, maybe it's lackluster. But honestly right now, I don't see much of a way to make this too much better than what it is. Maybe later I can come back on it.
I don't know. I honestly thought it was enough. Maybe I can make him more frantic, but the first person POV's main objective was that he was in a higher plane of existence. I wrote him to have a calm voice (like a god's) so it's hard to really solidify the stakes of the situation, but this chapter should be enough for the reader to realize what's going to happen to everyone in the story. I'm not going to say it, I guess, but I thought I made it pretty clear. I thought that'd be a twist.
But to me, this isn't where his character ends to begin with. So in my head this is just a stepping stone. I don't think Victor has necessarily CHANGED as a person in this chapter... he simply folds.
That all being said, I think your comment DOES change how I will approach his character after this chapter. Not in terms of arc, but in terms of how he will behave.
Admittedly this wasn't the reaction I was expecting, so explaining my thoughts is all I can do, lol
