Apr 30, 2025
To:Orionless
Anyway, I think these last two chapters are kinda the end of everything. I've spent the last few hours writing about that other scenario I mentioned (the dark and edgy one), but...... I mean, that's all it ended up being, really. Dark and edgy. No real merit. It ended up mostly working off the "shock" value.
These two chapters are a bit weak in retrospect (trying to distance myself from the protagonist too far probably backfired), but it these two chapters mean much more to me than that other scenario I've been working on. Perhaps these two chapters are weak as "stories", but I do feel like I've gotten something out of my heart.
I don't feel much of a need to write after this.... which is ironic, seeing what I've written in the first chapter here. "The protagonist always comes back to write", yeah. But I feel like this makes it evident that I don't really have anything "tangible" left. It would be very hard to follow these two chapters up, because they aren't structured like stories. These aren't really stories. I SHAPED them to be like stories because I realized that if I didn't, it would just be an author (me) ranting about this and that. Yeah, maybe underneath it all, it's just a rant. There are no valuable conclusions that are reached here.
So yeah, these kinda suck. And I don't mean to bring myself down (or make you feel guilty), but like... these aren't really stories. They're more observations than anything. It's like listening to a tour guide explain something at a zoo.
I mean, this is anticlimactic when you put this next to the fifty chapters I've produced over the last few months. I genuinely, genuinely doubt that I will be able to create another "novel" of that size and heart. Because yeah, I've written my heart out. What's left are the little pieces... and also the dark parts of my heart, which, I really don't see a point in writing about. I don't think it'll help anyone, including myself.
And even then, I have no idea if that other novel is capable of clicking with others. One of my friends asked me to send them my finished novel, and I was like "hahahahahahaha no sorry". Because I don't actually know if it's good. So even now, I have no idea if ANY of my writing efforts will hold water in the long run. Heart isn't everything.
So I think all that's left for me, at least for now, is to... yeah yeah, revise that other novel, I agree. But as for what comes AFTER... well, I don't know. I think all that's left for me on this platform is to support some of the writers I've formed connections with (including you) until they reach the end of their works.
I guess I'm writing this to amend my comment below, because I do see that these two chapters are kinda meh? I mean I personally felt some kind of catharsis by letting it out, but maybe no one else will feel the same way.
And yeah, as a reminder, this isn't me trying to guilt trip you or anything, it's just a genuine admission that I don't think these chapters work as reading material. So don't feel bad. I don't consider these chapters to be complete garbage but I do see that they're probably not as strong as I thought they would be.
Either way, I'm just going to spend the next week (there's literally a single week left now) revising my other novel, while I try to support you and a few other writers. And then after the contest is over, I'm probably just going to read the other writers' novels to completion. That's it. I'll probably disappear from the scene once there's no more writers I have left to support.
Maybe once the contest is fully over, I might come back to create a slightly more better world for my adorable characters to live in, but... I mean, that'd literally just be fan service 
I'm going to leave these two chapters up as they are because I do feel like even if they're meh as stories, they also do carry my thoughts that I did want to express, so....... yeah.
I'll pass the writing baton onto you for now. It's all you, buddy 
