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Riskable

Father, Hacker (Information Security Professional), Open Source Software Developer, Inventor, and 3D printing enthusiast, and now, novelist.

registered at: Jun 26, 2025

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aaa

Sep 13, 2025

> And then there was the sound. She’s only heard it once.

Don't need the, "She's only heard it once" part (and it'd be "she" if you keep it). Without that second sentence, you get a bit more tension 👍

Taking Healing To Higher Levels In Another World

Chapter:2

Sep 13, 2025

> The alley is always quiet this early, more night than morning.

You don't need that "more night than morning" part. Keep it mysterious 😀

Taking Healing To Higher Levels In Another World

Chapter:2

Sep 13, 2025

Love the concept of using the veins of a leaf to draw a picture and using a rotten tomato thrown at you to grow more tomatoes is great 👍

Housewife in Another World: My Son is The Demon Lord

Chapter:1

Sep 13, 2025

You're mixing present tense with past tense in this paragraph and it doesn't read well:

> She emerged from the woods to find three men on a dirt path. They point bows at her. She shrieks and covers her head. “Don’t shoot, don’t shoot!” One of the men approaches her with some visible hostility. “And why shouldn’t we, demon?” He spoke with clear disdain. She carefully peeks from under an arm at the man. “I… I’m lost, horribly lost, I’m not from here!” “You don’t say?” One of the men interrupted with sarcasm.

<puts on editor's hat> Here's how I would edit it to fix the tense and make it read a bit better:

> She emerged from the woods to find three men on a dirt path, bows drawn and aimed at her. She shrieked and covered her head. "Don’t shoot, don’t shoot!"

> One of the men stepped forward with visible hostility. “And why shouldn’t we, demon?” His voice dripped with disdain.

> Peeking out from under her arm, she spoke, "I… I’m lost, horribly lost. I’m not from here!"

> “You don’t say?” one of the men interrupted.

IMHO, you don't need the "with sarcasm" part since it's obvious (well, it is to me 🤷). Or you could have as something like, "one of the men spoke, his voice dripping with obvious sarcasm."

Housewife in Another World: My Son is The Demon Lord

Chapter:1

Sep 13, 2025

If I might make a very minor suggestion:

"It was a morning in the height of summer" would read a bit better without that "a":

"It was morning in the height of summer"

Also: The ring of mushrooms was a nice touch. Love little details like that 👍

Housewife in Another World: My Son is The Demon Lord

Chapter:0

Sep 11, 2025

"That was why the business of a certain fledging shop..."
I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be "fledgling shop" 👍

Time and Time Again

Chapter:5

Sep 11, 2025

"It unfortunate that I didn’t possess a normal magic."
I think that's supposed to be "It's" 👍

Time and Time Again

Chapter:4

Sep 08, 2025

To:Mai

Ahaha, probably not. There's angry Maizy, terrified Maizy, and curious Maizy but they're all cute all the time. In the next book (if I ever get there) she's going to run into trouble getting people (non-kads) to take her seriously.

WHAT is going to laugh and laugh and laugh at her for this 🤣

Maizy's Tails: Mass, Memory, Disorder

Chapter:4

Sep 05, 2025

"The End."

You could totally mess with readers by putting that in there 🤣

Singularity

Chapter:13

Sep 05, 2025

> o she got up
Typo: o

Singularity

Chapter:9

Sep 05, 2025

This is cool:
> My guess is that you won’t perceive color during the night.

Singularity

Chapter:8

Sep 05, 2025

Typo:
> over the years od her existence.

Singularity

Chapter:8

Sep 05, 2025

> With several Years
Minor thing: The Y shouldn't be capitalized there. Typo.

Singularity

Chapter:4

Sep 05, 2025

Ahaha I love the concept of a "purity stone" 🤣

Singularity

Chapter:3

Sep 05, 2025

> We’re home soon.
Should that be, "We'll be home soon"?

Singularity

Chapter:2

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