Jun 27, 2022
Hey hey, I decided to check out your novel! I read the first 2 chapters and so far I think you're building up to something good. Although, the first half of ch.1 kinda felt close to being a long infodump, I think it also paid off leading up to the turn of events in ch.2.
I'm not sure what improvements should be made exactly, so feel free to make changes at your own discretion. I think it might help to make some minor revisions and re-read just to be sure everything is written correctly.
Also, I had one gripe with this line. I don't think it's necessary since there were other times where the fact that the protagonist was different from his parents was alluded to. The scene with the mirror sums it up and still works well on its own:
"A little thing to note about me, I'm a bit different from my parents, I have coal black hair and scarlet eyes, not at all the same as my parents. But who cares, I'll see them again!"
