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Bubbles

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I'm Bubbles.

Currently on hiatus.

registered at: Aug 13, 2020

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aaa

Apr 12, 2025

It's okay to have exposition in past tense. At the risk of sounding vain, you have read some of my story; if you need to explain action that happens before the actual story moment, you can use past tense, then resume with present tense once you're done.

The waste where silver gods lie

Chapter:10

Apr 12, 2025

I feel like a lot of your writing relies on these cinematic moments, which is very nice. You have a very good sense of crafting scenic beats, which is why it pains me to say that a lot of them feel very brutalist in their architecture. If you could find a way to polish your descriptions such that the filmic motion sticks the landing, you could really improve the overall quality of your writing.

The waste where silver gods lie

Chapter:9

Apr 12, 2025

One thing to note about present tense is that it comes with certain limitations around how you can phrase things. In particular, passive voice and constructions like 'it starts to...', 'it begins to...' stick out a lot more. They're probably better avoided. Similarly, there are also ways you can skip 'proper' phrasing to make a paragraph flow better.

The waste where silver gods lie

Chapter:8

Apr 12, 2025

To:Ashley

yse

Cat Got My Tongue

Chapter:13

Apr 12, 2025

To:Himicchi

How can I not blame an adorable moment on the most adorable goober I know?

Cat Got My Tongue

Chapter:13

Apr 12, 2025

4-koma with 4 commas

So what if the world is ending around me? I just want to make coffee. Is that so much to ask?

Chapter:3

Apr 12, 2025

Calling it right now that there will be a mf who comes in to talk about coffee, hachi will hit it off for him, then he will give the equivalent of a nazi take about guava beans, whereupon Hachi will boot him off.

So what if the world is ending around me? I just want to make coffee. Is that so much to ask?

Chapter:2

Apr 12, 2025

bro is the senshi of coffee

So what if the world is ending around me? I just want to make coffee. Is that so much to ask?

Chapter:1

Apr 12, 2025

To:Steward McOy

Sayuri can be a mean power bottom.

Cat Got My Tongue

Chapter:13

Apr 11, 2025

Vote if they should attempt to fuck next chapter, or if we should see Asami being a catgirlfailure.

I am being 100% serious btw, and I expected serious replies only.

Cat Got My Tongue

Chapter:13

Apr 10, 2025

To:Steward McOy

Fair. Guess this is a more difficult story to pull off after all.

Cat Got My Tongue

Chapter:11

Apr 10, 2025

To:Steward McOy

Thanks for pointing it out. Not sure how that's ambiguous provided that the dialogue thread is separate from the narrative thread, but fair enough.

Cat Got My Tongue

Chapter:12

Apr 10, 2025

I really like how the moments of genuine care are interspersed with doomer speak. It makes it feel like worrying about anything is really worrying about nothing. But even in that case, it paints the process of worry as something so human that, even when faced with certain demise, we still seek to do it. Very nice, my little snack. (New Himi pet name)

The Princess of the Dragon’s Tummy

Chapter:3

Apr 10, 2025

Gawsh, Hen is such a pure little momma hen, I love her so much. She reminds me so much of that one maidservant from Disenchantment. Sweet, simple and good-natured to a fault.

I want to squish Fawn until she flails at me to let go.

The Princess of the Dragon’s Tummy

Chapter:2

Apr 10, 2025

Read this. I am Bubbles. I love my little bratty princess because she's the smelliest, fluffiest, tastiest little goober. I mwack her with the folds of my stomach lining.

Small prose note: try not having sentences start the same too many times in a row. You have plenty of paragraphs where there's a lot of 'I did. I did. I did.' in quick succession. Something more varied could help the brattiness stick better :)

The Princess of the Dragon’s Tummy

Chapter:1

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