Bubbles

Bubbles

I'm Bubbles.

Currently on hiatus.

registered at: Aug 13, 2020
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    Published Novel Level 2
    Published Chapter Level 6
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    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2021
    Finalist - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2022
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2023


    May 20, 2024

    "In some ways, I guess I'm more Japanese than some Japanese people."

    This line struck a chord with me, and I will now spend an inordinate amount of time dissecting it an its implications.

    Before starting, I should admit that, growing up, I was also fascinated with a foreign culture – the British one to be precise. There was something to the stoicism and scepticism, to the good natured dry wit and the pompous, elegant, almost prissy mannerisms they exuded. But, now that I've come to live here for going on half a decade now, I can obviously say I was wrong. And see, I think my experiences are far more commonplace within a country which does a lot more cultural exports than the UK.

    Japan, to your average weeb – a term which I use both loosely and all-encompassingly at the same time – is not so much a country, as it is a sum of perceived customs. Its villages and cities are just pretty backdrops, its people actors, and its culture nothing more than a series of TV specials. It's a stage play many want to spectate and, deep down, feature in. And to that end, they end up performing the cultural motions they had learnt not by assimilation, but rather through some perverse osmosis which left them with a mutant definition of what it is to be Japanese. What they think, say and do is a facsimile of an ersatz and it's acted out so ostentatiously that it circles around from being cringeworth to being arrogant. That, I believe is being more Japanese than the Japanese themselves.

    My main issue with this story is that I believe its message is brilliant, whilst its execution is not. There is an element of style which, I'll admit, I didn't gel with from the get-go. The ironic tinge wore thin very quickly, so when the more serious moments came through I found myself barely able to engage with them. Obviously, I'm not saying that you should've played it straight from the start – that would be presumptuous. Though I do wonder if a culture shock would be better off presented as... lost in translation. One idea I had whilst reading this was, 'what if we saw someone who was so entrenched in the tradition and pageantry of being Japanese that he alienated himself from what Japan was really supposed to be.' And, really, I don't think we got to see this. I don't think we could.

    Very good concept, Stew. I really liked it.

    Best of luck in the competition.
    Bubbles~

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    1
    When the Rose Blooms Among the Cherry Blossoms, The Thorns Aren’t As Dangerous As the Petals in the Breeze
    Chapter:1



    May 20, 2024

    Man, this was a read :honey_lol:

    To get this out of the way because it's been killing me, whilst glizzy does mean hot dog, it's also a well-known euphemism for penis. So that paragraph where the word is used 5 times in just as many sentences broke me. Congrats!

    Onto the story now. I do wonder what, if any, is the narrative thread here. The plot seems to advance at the roll of a die, and our Vinny Chess guy keeps rolling 1-5s in initiative because Sakura just harries him throughout everything. Which is very cool, she has a personality, brash and obnoxious as it might be. Whereas Vinny... doesn't. He's pretty much just a pawn with a dango glizzy, which I suppose is fair enough. Nothing wrong with that.

    The prose, if I may delve into it, is a little dull at the best of times. There's a lot of the same constructions (This happens. However, this thing is a twist) repeated in sequence and quick succession. And a lot of the narration feels like the main character speaking at us with little-to-no-buffer; it feels like Vinny is the narrator before being a character itself, which is quite distracting. Not to mention how the way he comments on everything is very straightforward and simplistic. He seems to say things as they are, wearing his heart and thoughts on his sleeve. All the time. I wonder if it wouldn't have been slightly better if Vinny held back a little. If instead of such an open and unfiltered speech, he would use turns of phrases, metaphors or similes to describe the world around him; if instead of carrying us through the narration at a crazy pace, he would take his time and allow us, the readers, to explore the world and his feelings more leisurely; if instead of explaining to us what Sakura meant by what she said, rehashing every idea with a slightly deadpan twist, he would focus on expanding or bouncing them around.

    That being said, I can appreciate this is a funny story :) Definitely not my cup of tea, but shikata nai.

    Best of luck in the contest,
    Bubbles~

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    1
    Sakura Streamer girl cover
    Sakura streamer girl
    Chapter:1