Nov 04, 2022
Aight, it's time to give you the Honeyfeed welcome.
I think there is some nice stuff going on here to begin with. The authoritarian paramilitary organisation that's seized control over the land is a nice primary antagonist that I believe the MC will try to topple and I think the desert backdrop is a pretty unique touch for the website. Desertpunk is a pretty underexplored genre, so it's nice seeing it brought to life, if that's your intention.
To be frank, I think the narrative starts off a bit shaky. We're rapid fire introduced to a slew of characters that are treated, by and large, with the same importance as the protagonist. Then, we're taken to a melon-delivery scene which is over and done with so fast, but I don't think it achieves anything to further the characters, it merely presents the Banditos, which are more aptly presented during the fight scene.
Furthermore, there's like a distinct lack of 'interesting' to a world that, by its tags, is both fantasy and cyberpunk. There's just trucks and rifles and more trucks and bland streets and white shirts and there's hardly anything whimsical to catch the eye. Which wouldn't be as big a sin if the characters were anything to speak of.
In truth, one chapter under our belt, I think Hiro is unfortunately unremarkable in terms of personality. Sure, he seems the typical shounen hero, has some hidden, grand power, a distaste towards the bad guys and the goody-two shoes attitude to boot. But there is hardly any instance where we get to know who he really is, what motivates him, what his goals are, what his thought process is like. The only times we would get to peer into his head are used for expositioning.
This is on top of a prose that does very little to stand out, be it LN or otherwise. The descriptive technique tends to be the same, only superficial details, often listed in non-filmic order and equally often not doing anything other than setting the image down, like it's meant to be drawn in later on. Which is to say, they fail at providing an atmosphere crucial for a story of this type, wherein the differentiation from others of its genre and ilk come from the vibe conveyed. With cyberpunk in the tags, I'd have expected some ruined city or lack of life, but the village seems to be fairly ordinary and mediocre.
Granted, the ideas are there, evildoers control the land, hero must free them. You do well teasing the changing element in the end with a touch of rebellion against the Banditos being treated like this incredible transgression. But that's about the only part that carries any weight, since I personally, don't feel like I know, can relate or understand the protagonist, I don't really feel like I can submerge myself in the world he lives in and I certainly can't draw many conclusions about anything regarding the story's direction.
