Steward McOy / Comments

Steward McOy

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Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.

registered at: Jun 26, 2021

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aaa

Oct 16, 2022

"but she doesn't know because she has amnesia" 🤣

This was a good perspective change after the last chapter. The thing I've dug the most since the first chapter was how the characters feel about having otaku friends and family members. Haruto's got a chip on his shoulder (maybe more than one) about it, but it's not totally unjustified. It doesn't seem to be a big deal to Kaede, but she also appears to be closer to her friends than her family. Ayame wants to turn her friends into otaku, and make new otaku friends, which might seem overbearing at first, but her relationship with her family, and the connections she made with the Kougas, puts a more heartwarming spin on things. Obsessive geeking out, for all the problems it creates, can bring people together too.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:5

Oct 15, 2022

I found Azama to be a tad annoying, but I was immediately back on board when he was told to kill the strongest mage. Great hook to get the story started. Cool beans.

Cullgrade

Chapter:1

Oct 14, 2022

To:Spirit9871

That's a great question. It gets touched on very briefly in one of the later chapters, but I’m glad I was able to make you curious about it in this one.

The Cat-Eared Historian Mage on the Crumbling Planet

Chapter:2

Oct 14, 2022

Congrats on finishing. I'm glad I was finally able to make time to read through this myself. I can't add a lot over what the other commenters have pointed out, but you did a great job giving every character a unique and recognizable voice, and that really helped the flow of the writing and the dialogue.

Best of luck with the judging!

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:40

Oct 13, 2022

Good to know Gregor's still doing OK.

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:33

Oct 13, 2022

That's a terrible thing to do. Julius hurt multiple people, and when I read that, my first reaction was to condemn him. But Rika's got a point. We've all hurt people and done things we regret. He clearly feels bad about it than any third-party would. Judging him at that point is counterproductive.

I really appreciate how the story has become deeper as it progresses.

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:30

Oct 12, 2022

Cat!

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:22

Oct 12, 2022

Twisting his hair with a fork is brutal.

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:19

Oct 12, 2022

I might have to switch my favorite character from Emma to Agatha. “It’s just like my Japanese anime” isn’t much of a character trait, but I can’t help but identify with it anyway.

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:17

Oct 12, 2022

Oof. I can sympathize with Haruto not wanting to be a part of his parents' worlds, and maybe even a little bit for wanting to have a more normal family, but wishing your dad was a stereotypical Japanese salarayman. 😬

Shows he still has a lot of growing to do.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:4

Oct 10, 2022

This reminded me of so many high school trips with hotels where we were 2 to a bed. Some guys really would just sleep on the floor.

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:12

Oct 10, 2022

To:Spirit9871

Thank you! Finding that balance between dialog and narration has always been one of my weak points as a writer, and one that I set out to improve when I wrote this story, so I'm happy to hear you thought it worked well for this chapter.

The Cat-Eared Historian Mage on the Crumbling Planet

Chapter:1

Oct 09, 2022

I feel called out by that bit about nerds having competitive rage. Why do we always have to try to establish a nerd pecking order?

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:7

Oct 09, 2022

Miku's got a point. Good organization skills and work ethic may not be enough to carry a relationship on their own, but there are worse reasons to be attracted to someone.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:3

Oct 08, 2022

I hate to echo all the comments praising Emma, but it’s great that she’s still focusing on living life, and maybe making a new Italy friend, in the midst of this.

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:4

Steward McOy

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