Jul 24, 2021
You probably hear this a lot, as evidenced by your many views--but your set-up and prose was fantastic. I mean that as in you took the typical fantasy anime tropes of a witch, hidden power, demon lord, and then put a comedic, meta-humour-ish spin on it.
The "no-lying grimoire" plus the connection that comes with, "Oh people probably think she's a witch either because she admits it or probably she just insults everyone." + The grimoire only targeting women. And the slime having to power her up by jerking off. Absolute 10/10s
One thing I need to point out is that, we're WN readers (a mostly male demographic), so obviously I find this stuff funny and am your target audience. But I think a lot of the potential jokes in this series (with a tentacled jellyfish) will probably end up hated by SJWs/getting cancelled. This ironically, might be a plus for a light novel.
I would change Maribell to be much more snarky, personally! I love the idea of a character that can't tell any lies, and unfortunately, I think your first chapter fell short on capitalising on that potential opportunity. For instance, maybe Maribell making snide comments at her pursuers to really hammer home the fact that she's hated. To make it seem somewhat fair to the reader, rather than just a trope (although a well explained one in-universe).
Check out my novel too, if you'd like!
