IceDonut / Comments

IceDonut

25 | him/his | European

Writing since 2016 to find the fine line between the bittersweet beauty of sorrow and the feeling of deep human connection, creating worlds that provide shelter from reality, but also embrace its way of being.
I occasionally write comments/critiques that could be short stories on their own, so sorry for all the flooded comment sections 😅
Read into my current novel "Celluloid", if you are interested!

registered at: Sep 08, 2021

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aaa

Mar 29, 2023

Hmmm … Shig seems to know stuff about the „Monsters“ Eiji can see. Would be funny, if he‘d be one of the Top-Tier Exorcists banishing them back to their domain despite looking and being as weak 😂
But this monster Eiji saw in the broad daylight has something special about it as well. Maybe it is of a higher rank and can therefore exist even during the day …? 🤔

Soul Nemesis [VOLUME I]

Chapter:2

Mar 20, 2023

I don't think that being stressed out on a funeral - especially from someone who was not at a age where the death would be acceptable - isn't unnormal. I mean quite a few people will be there crying and shaking from the emotions. So, it might not be the most pleasant experience for them, but I don't think that they'll stick out too much, if they don't escalate completely. 😋
Still interesting, that they were invited after they had this big fight - but their family probably doesn't know, I guess 🤔😅 Or was Reiko invited as well ... I mean the ONLY affilitation between her an Sora was rather hostile 😅

Hunted

Chapter:9

Mar 20, 2023

Seems like we have ourselves a hot-headed shounen protagonist 😂
The family with his older sister and her boyfriend is really cute! I'm still curious about his mother and even more so about his ability of seeing those ghostly figures at night. The formulation for the father's disappearance being explained with "reasons unknown" sticks out quite a bit for my taste. I bet that Eiji's dad had similar powers to his son and was probably part of a secret agency/school/whatever, through that he was forced to leave. Maybe the illness from his wife is even tied into this ... but we'll see 🤔😁

Soul Nemesis [VOLUME I]

Chapter:1

Mar 18, 2023

To:Katsuhito

Yeah ... plans change quickly ... 😅 If you still have major changes to the overall plot structure a few days before wanting to publish the first chapters, that's probably a sign the story isn't ready yet. But I'm working on it ... whenever it will be published 😅
It's great that you're trying yourself at third person! It's a bit more challenging at times, but has a lot of advantages as well. Still, the narrator has to fit the story, but what I got from your storytelling is that it will work great for you (and does work great in this chapter already).

Soul Nemesis [VOLUME I]

Chapter:0

Mar 16, 2023

Wohoo! That is such a great opening already! Here we go again for the next ride! I‘m curious if you continue with writing in the third person 🧐😁 (kudos for that, I really liked it - it’s different but didn’t lack the depth from your first person writing!)
I also love the idea that you‘re updating this chapter as the whole novel progresses. That’s a great way of using the medium of a webnovel. You‘ll just have to make sure that people reading this later don’t get spoiled, but I’m sure you already accounted for that 😁

Awesome first chapter! Now you overtook me even a second time 😂 I’ll definitely stay in the loop 😊

Soul Nemesis [VOLUME I]

Chapter:0

Mar 14, 2023

Well, they better not get tangled up in a web of lies. But since we kind of already know that they were not arrested (but rather, the punishment comes on a different way 😅), they necessarily do have plot armor on.
But in regards to the phone: Wouldn’t the police try and locating the signal, or at least the last found location? I mean the network provider can provide the necessary data for that … and either way they would find the phone in Reiko‘s room or at the library and both ways would make the hints point towards them (The librarian knew that they were there and literally everyone knew that the group and Sora hadn’t been the closest friends). Even if Reiko turned the phone off, the last location would have been the library… so it might be hard arguing your way out of that 😅
But I’ll see what you have in petto for us 😁

Hunted

Chapter:8

Mar 02, 2023

To:YoruWrites🔮

The right phone? 🧐
Why should there b a second phone lying in the bushes? At least I don’t remember anyone else losing one on the way. Unless it was exchanged by someone… 🤔
Hmmmm, we’ll see 😅

Hunted

Chapter:7

Mar 01, 2023

Completely reasonable to simply hide the body 😂
They seemed rather experienced in doing this 🤔😜 But thank god Reiko thought about the phone. So that pretty much eliminates the option of a fellow student finding out about their „free time activities with deer“ and their connection to Sora. Maybe the demon they summoned during the ritual will be hunting them? We’ll see 🤔😁

Hunted

Chapter:7

Feb 12, 2023

To:YoruWrites🔮

Thank you, thank you! 😂

I would not say that they have an alibi, though. The librarian just let them use the library and wasn't there herself. They could have also killed and sneaked Sora's dead body out into the woods (which they did/will do essentially) without the librarian knowing. So no alibi for them ... 😋
Then, I'm already interested for the downhill slide that lies in front of us! 😊

Hunted

Chapter:6

Feb 12, 2023

Dear diary,
let me say it right away: this will be my last entry. I know what you think? How can he write a diary entry right the second before he is dying, right? There is a very logically comprehensible explanation, but you probably wouldn't be able to comprehend it, so I'll spare you that.
Let me rather talk about my friends ... or the people who once were my friends. Because now that they killed me, I am really mad at them. They had like zero empathy for my curiosity about the ritual and that I (obviously) wanted to stay out of it for my own safety. I mean who would be stupid enough to participate in a ritual that could possibly endanger their own life? This should've been obvious to them. Again, they are really overreacting!
And yes, maybe I shouldn't have choked Reiko, but she provoked me and what should I do about my impulsiveness. I mean she threw my phone out of the window ... my PHONE!
But whatever ... now that I'm dead, I don't care anymore. Hope you guys are satisfied now. Look at what you have done!

-Sora

Well ... will be interesting how they want to get out of this. I mean the librarian knows that they were the last ones to be seen in the library and that they were together. I assume that they know that as well and bring his corpse out into the woods in order to kick off the big search already teased in one of the first chapters. But I don't think that they think about his phone that probably lies in the front yard of the library and the video saved on it. Maybe the police or I would assume that probably someone else finds it and that could be the one lead to finding out what they did last summ... I mean 10 years ago 😁

Hunted

Chapter:6

Feb 07, 2023

To:YoruWrites🔮

We'll see about that, maybe I change my bet down the line and in the end they are an estranged group of friends after the traumatic experience they are about to witness soon. Would be a great and kinda realistic twist, but we'll see which route you take 😁

Hunted

Chapter:5

Feb 07, 2023

To:YoruWrites🔮

Haha go ahead if you like. I'm always glad to inspire you guys - Katsuhito used a sentence from me in 66 Hours as well 😋😁
I'm certain, I will. So, I just need to wait now 😂😅
And thank you for writing! 😉🫶

Hunted

Chapter:4

Feb 06, 2023

Wooahh! Finally they found together! 😱😍
Quite quickly ... I place my money on a happily married couple in ten years ... 🤔😁

Hunted

Chapter:5

Feb 06, 2023

Dear Diary,
hey, its me again, Sora and ... hear me out, before you judge me, okay?
I mean who wouldn't be into demonic rituals that require the sacrifice of a living being's soul? Can you blame me for that? (The answer is no, you can't ... everyone is interested in that!)
Also, I mean ... you could argue that I was intending to do the ritual with all the hundreds of hours I meticulously spent to reconstruct the ritual to summon the demon of Vegeance, with planning and even organizing this deer. But lets leave such negligibilities aside and be real here: It could have been a total coincidence that we accidentally reproduced the complex 13-step-dance with all its moves and therefore this whole thing could have been unintended. In conclusion ... the thing with the deer was nothing but an accident as well. I really didn't want this to happen! I mean I knew it would, but my intentions were pure - and isn't that what counts?
Considering all that, the others are totally overacting. They looked happy when the ripped that deer apart and burned all their clothing ... so why am I the bad guy now? Am I to blame, just because I forgot to mention that I wasn't intending to participate the ritual myself? I even laid white blankets over their unconscious bodies, so what were they expecting? For me to wait until they regained their consciousness? To call an ambulance?
My point is ... I am the good guy and they are just immature and overreacting. I just ... I really hope the regain their composure. I have nobody but them and they are my only friends ... so please guys, lets forget this and be friends again. I will even be generous and forget about your overreacting ;-)

- Sora

Weelll, that escalated quickly 😂
Satanic rituals? So I guess our bad guy that will be hunting our friends in ten years is not a person but a monster/demon/ghost that was summoned right then ... or Sora cast an protection or anything onto himself and through killing him the friends broke it and are now hunted by the ghost ... Interesting, interesting. Lets see where this leads 🤔😁

Hunted

Chapter:4

Jan 24, 2023

To:YoruWrites🔮

Don’t feel guilty! As long as you don’t have like months between each new chapter and I forgot what happened in the last one, it’s all just fine.
Maybe see it that way: If you don’t update that often we even have more time to do other fun things … like writing stories ourselves (that probably, hopefully come out someday). But that’s not to encourage you to space out chapters beyond a two-week schedule! I still want to know how it works out before my retirement 😂
Just … don’t feel bad about those schedules 😁🫶

Hunted

Chapter:3