Jun 05, 2022
I think you could do a bit better with incorporating flashbacks - right now it feels a bit too blunt (with you just stating “flashback” and then describe) and too confusing in terms of presentation. Maybe add a more specific date or time (something like “10 years ago”, or, better yet, work your flashback into the main timeline - something like the MC remembering his mother’s words as he’s faced in the situation, for instance). As for the formatting, italics is a pretty common way to incorporate flashbacks, so I feel like it could be done well here.
The story itself is rather intriguing. Let’s see how well it’ll go.
