Aug 03, 2022
I've been meaning to read your story for a while, especially since you both read mine and your cover looks fantastic.
Consequently, it was nice to see that the writing was genuinely pretty good. You managed to round out both the world and the characters in a very balanced way so far, and though the kitchen sink approach that this world seems to be going for in terms of sci-fi plus magic plus fantasy is a bit of a risky play, the way that you introduced things so far is making it more plausible by the page.
My only strong note of critique is that the fourth wall break after the narration revealing the city's backstory seems a bit unnecessary and immersion-breaking.
