Nov 09, 2022
To:Swig
I’ll start by answering your question- when I started publishing Midsummer, I had the first few chapters written long in advance, but past that all I knew was that Roscoe’s pursuit of Cleo would fail and I had the ending already in mind. Other than that I was writing most chapters days before they were posted (or, on at least one occasion, the very day.) And while I can’t help but think that, sure, if I held onto those chapters and ironed them out, they COULD be better- the whole STORY could be MUCH smoother if I knew every little thing I needed to have happen before it ended- that doesn’t really appeal to me. Not only am I plenty proud of how this version turned out, but I can and will improve it in further drafts. The most important part for me is to just write something, and a quicker turnaround on new chapters keeps me working just like it keeps the readers engaged. Even though I’m envious of stories that can be completely planned out beforehand, I know that writing like that just isn’t as fun for me, so really, I just idolize stories that can feel all pre-planned even when they’re not, and that’s what I aspire to be, I think. I idolize a lot of serialized manga writers for this reason- the first time I heard Berserk was more or less pantsed, I couldn’t even believe it. How could something so spontaneously outlined be so complexly beautiful in its foreshadowing and rereadability? But the reality is, both paths are essentially two ways to the same goal- that being, a cohesive and interesting story. You can get there either way. Now that does mean people like me might have a bit of an advantage in places like these. I’d say if you want to try your hand at it, just plan a few things you want to have happen, and then let the actual week-to-week writing get you there. I’m sure I’m not as much of a pantser as some people- it’s more of a gradient than a hard binary. But no matter what, so long as you’re writing, you’ll get better, and find a way that it’ll work eventually. Make use of your quirks and find what works for you. Experiment!
-Okay now for the story stuff-
The stanzas aren’t necessarily supposed to reflect specific words in the corresponding paragraphs, but rather things Roscoe is thinking subconsciously as he struggles with his identity. As you guessed, this part was primarily to light a fire under the poor kiddo’s ass and raise the stakes, as otherwise the climax would be… well, kinda anticlimactic, but also, I really wanted to explain how the actual hell they were even staying alive in this presumably pretty decent house with a PC and two well-off children supported by one guy fixing his neighbor’s home decor. I would’ve foreshadowed it more had I planned it all, but I’m okay with it upping the ante all of a sudden. It also helps tie more into the theme of privilege and guilt that we first start to see brought up in Kirk’s arc with the story of Denise Fletcher. I would also totally pass out in this situation, except like- in a reverse way. I often feel like a burden because of my work writing anime books on the internet- even though I really am making a lot of progress in my craft, I feel guilty for not having a “real job” or pursuing formal education. But really, it’s only me that feels that way. I put a lot of my insecurities and anxieties surrounding that stuff into this section of the story, which, as it’s far past the preplanned start, I wrote when I was a year or two older than when I first created Roscoe. It’s funny to see him still seventeen when I’m apparently an adult now.
To go against fate… it’s something I never would have considered when I first came up with this story, even if that “fate” were “Metalmouse” living right next to me. I came up with this narrative initally cause after the expansion of an English branch to Hololive there were Vtubers I idolized now (probably) living within my own country, and they could be anywhere. Sure, it’s not LIKELY, but… what if? I wondered if it would be enough to get me out of my shell if a tooba showed up right outside my front lawn. Of course, I’m a pessimist, and a realist, so the fantasy, now a story about a different person, became about how pursuing an older woman you liked as a celebrity persona just wouldn’t work out. But as I came to believe I was probably aromantic, I realized I wouldn’t want such a thing anyway, and made Roscoe basically go through that too on a much more dramatic scale, even if it’s left up as to whether or not that’s REALLY what’s going on with him or if he’s just not into *Cleo.* And I made it that way because, I mean, who really knows? I don’t, and I’ve sure found out a hell of a lot more about myself since then. Not to mention he’s just 17. Now I wonder if I’d even want to be friends with a Vtuber I knew. I hope I would. I mean, it’d be a pretty funny way to meet, right?
Thanks so much for everything, and I hope the final arc of the series gives you plenty to chew on. I’ll still be reading anything you put out, be it a novel or a consistently well-worded and helpful comment. 🤗
