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AWiddleStar

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registered at: Jun 04, 2022

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aaa

Jul 22, 2022

This sounds like a ragtag group of misfits that hinder more than help produce any kind of results, haha.

Dreams, Don't Die

Chapter:3

Jul 22, 2022

To:Kya Hon

I can see what you mean by that. I was focusing more on the 'mental' stakes of combat scenes in this novel, rather than physical.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:4

Jul 21, 2022

To:Dracors

Perhaps, you could try something like Hemingway Editor, which does a good job at highlighting when your sentences get too complicated. You can just copy the text in and see where it flags.

Idolatry

Chapter:0

Jul 21, 2022

I think that you're off to a good start, plotwise. But I find it rather difficult to read at times. Is there a reason why you have so many run on sentences? Just looking at the first paragraph, you have 5 clauses in a single sentence, and it happens just about everywhere. It would be better to break them up into their own sentences to make it easier to digest.

Especially when you start mentioned completely separate things within that same sentence, it becomes hard to focus on what is being conveyed.

Idolatry

Chapter:0

Jul 21, 2022

The real question is if any flesh can make you simp more than who attracts you to the game to begin with. At least, you can dump your games, guilt-free. 😅

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:10

Jul 21, 2022

Ship them as rivals. We all know those relationships run deep. 🙂

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:8

Jul 21, 2022

To:Saito Forester

She's a bit impulsive and prideful. But at the same time, she realizes her faults as she makes them, haha.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:4

Jul 21, 2022

To:Moon

Thank you very much for reading! I'll keep my expectations low though, as I've seen some great novels in the competition, but I'm grateful for the wishes.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:6

Jul 20, 2022

To:Deleted User

I'll break your heart and say "It was Caramello all along~~"

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:18

Jul 20, 2022

I decided to post some new artwork here, as it would be a spoiler before this chapter. Here, you can compare the two covers for Parts 1 and 2.

https://imgur.com/a/smYRZBX

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:18

Jul 18, 2022

To:Deleted User

It's more a statement on the perception of society on such things. Like if you found out some guilty pleasure of some celebrity, it gets spread in every tabloid and made out to be worse than it actually is.

Things are going a little 'too' smoothly, don't you think? 😉

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:17

Jul 17, 2022

Not every school has a talking sorting hat to decide which 'house' of anima you belong to. 😉

Y: The Tides Are In Our Hearts

Chapter:16

Jul 17, 2022

Isn't it dangerous to be handing out high quality weapons to complete novices? We all know that kids can't have nice things, haha. I did like the descriptions, anyways.

Y: The Tides Are In Our Hearts

Chapter:13

Jul 14, 2022

To:Deleted User

This one. It's like a 2nd arc of sorts, not a separate volume.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:16

Jul 14, 2022

To:Deleted User

It will. It just has a different vibe to it than part 1.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:16

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