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AWiddleStar

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registered at: Jun 04, 2022

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aaa

Jul 14, 2022

Reading this gives me the vague feeling that I'm watching Disney/Pixar movie. The scenes have this cartoonish charm that is approachable for the younger audience, yet I can see moments where extra thought has been put into some of the underlying vibes. And certainly, the title is a tip off to not take what is seen fully at face value (at least, as a lingering reminder as to why the two humans are singled out).

Are You Real?

Chapter:3

Jul 14, 2022

To:Deleted User

This is part 1.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:16

Jul 14, 2022

Emma would make an adorable puppy. I catch and pet. 😊

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:7

Jul 14, 2022

Who needs an icebreaker when there is Emma? Haha, she's my favorite one.

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:6

Jul 14, 2022

An interesting reassortment of battle lines. I like how you're not going down the established gender conceptions.

Cupid's BLAME!

Chapter:5

Jul 13, 2022

From Plato to dance battles, I can safely say that I should continue reading when it's not past midnight. Haha.

Are You Real?

Chapter:1

Jul 13, 2022

I like the worldbuilding you are going for here. I find a few places where the descriptions feel a bit lackluster, because you are simply stating what is there. A bit of specific language may help add to the ambiance.

Podzemgrad

Chapter:3

Jul 13, 2022

To:Deleted User

But, is he worthy? 😉

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:15

Jul 13, 2022

To:Kya Hon

I've been wondering how to get rid of those hefty chunks of narration in the back half, and I think you gave me some idea. Thank you for that. I plan to rewrite a bit when I get the chance and give it more of a visual/spoken sense.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:1

Jul 13, 2022

To:Alyssa Aurinia

I misunderstood then in her reaction, as she said, "find a safe haven for Her Excellency and me." I took it as they both were witches, rather than her worry for Esther over her own wellbeing.

Flower of Eden: Withered Blossoms

Chapter:2

Jul 13, 2022

I was enjoying the comfy romp around this quaint town with Maitreya until the notice. Way to swing the pendulum. Haha.

I'm a bit curious about how the other Twelve Ashes will come into play. Are any others witches or just Maitreya and Esther?

Flower of Eden: Withered Blossoms

Chapter:2

Jul 13, 2022

I imagined this as an opening solioquy to a play. The writing tickles me with its gripping imagery.

Flower of Eden: Withered Blossoms

Chapter:0

Jul 13, 2022

To:tanktrilby

Thank you for the comment! I hope you will find Chiffon to be unique, especially when her beliefs are at odds with herself. There's much more that is slowly revealed about her as the story goes on. I'm glad you decided to give it a try. 😊

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:1

Jul 11, 2022

To:Moon

Bravery in the face of death - will that be enough to make our fair Chiffon's heart stir? 😊

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:3

Jul 08, 2022

To:Deleted User

And we all know playboys have ulterior motives, haha.

The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard

Chapter:13

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