Dec 19, 2024
well, that was a downer ending
I saw people mentioned it'd be a 'cozy read' so now I'm wondering what they'd say now because... lol
As a whole, it was easy to read and enjoyable. I liked the bittersweet tone that permeated throughout the story, and I think it paid of well. It was written well and the mc had a strong personality. It was cute seeing her mellow down.
While I think it generally worked as a whole, the execution of the small parts is what kept me from really getting invested. For one, Lottie and Eme have like no personality. I GET why, but it's kind of hard to really care about a 'cute girls do cute stuff' story if 2/3 are cardboard. What little traits I could pick from Eme were moreso things that could make her seem 'alien' I suppose, rather than things that made her Eme. Otherwise, she was kind of... nice... and curious (because studying Earth)... and that's it. I don't know. Unfortunately, if one half of a friendship feels like nothing, then I can only care up to one half. Lottie is quite literally a bot, so there's that, but I feel like its ultimate fate would've hit harder if it'd shown ANY semblance of self. Otherwise, it's like turning off a toaster. I'm not exactly in tears when I do so.
To some degree, that's why the 'the world is so kawaii' moments didn't really land for me. They also tended to be really frontloaded, so it kind of felt like a milkshake that hadn't been mixed well. Conversely, there were entire chapters where it felt like nothing happened, not in the 'cute girls do cute things' way, but in the 'I feel like this could've not happened and nothing would've changed' way, so I'm left wondering if you could've blended those two elements a bit better.
Also, other people pointed this out, too, but the premise itself is kind of ??? in the sense that we never get an explanation as to why her parents even told her to do that. Why couldn't they ask for another family member to go with her? Why send their own daughter on her own? It was just weird.
Unfortunately, all of these things kept the emotional beats from really landing with me, but I'd be lying if I said the ending didn't depress me. If what you wanted was a feelsgood story that gave the reader a gut punch at the end, you succeeded.
It's a pretty solid first draft, I think. With a bit more polish I really feel like you could make people cry at the end (if that's what you want). Either way, I had fun.
