May 22, 2024
Big fan of the prose, but the dialogue feels kind of stilted, like you made your characters talk for the benefit of the story, rather than them being people. I dunno, kind of a nitpick, but when I'm reading I like to forget than "an author made it", if you get it.
Other than that, the reflection at the end was very nice, if a bit rushed. Again, it felt more like you as an author said 'ok, end of story, time to present the thesis' rather than it coming up naturally. I like that you treat the audience with respect and let us draw our own conclusions while also stating what you wanted to say, but I guess the keyword is... well, stating. There wasn't 'enough' before to really show that. I dunno.
Solid entry nonetheless c:
