Nov 08, 2023
I like the choppy writing style tbh
that sounds like a roast but it's not short sentences are kool
I'll say that there's several instances where the narrator uses common phrases/symptoms to show emotions, but the way in which it's done is kind of... awkward? and blunt, and it doesn't seem like a stylistic choice as much as you seeing/reading the same thing elsewhere and trying to emulate it
there's another instance near the end that gave me this emulation impression where the narrator says he muttered something softly, but like... yeah... when you mutter, you speak softly, so it's kind of redundant idk
still, I liked the ideas and the bits of introspection, which imo, like bubbles said, are the highlight writing-wise
