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Your Friendly Neighborhood Cuddle-Fish.
What is an Achievement?
Jun 28, 2024
Cliffhanger resolved. Death flags raised.
Jun 26, 2024
To:Kirb
Ah k. Same source, different interpretation.
Frank Miller fan?
Jun 25, 2024
Chūnibyō Gandalf the white? Insta win. Almost makes me forget about you finishing that cliffhanger off-scene.
Jun 24, 2024
Now that's a cliffhanger, eh?
Jun 23, 2024
Penultimate paragraph has a surperfluous 'was' before the 'stood'. Chapter seemed fine otherwise. Guess they'll need some huge powerup sooner rather than later.
As general feedback, consider including more descriptions of their locations to avoid white room syndrom, and maybe add some more sensory details within the scenes. Unless you chose the dialog heavy style on purpose, then nevermind.
Proper first chapter.
Even for a prolog, there is not much happening here. No mention of their powers or real look back at the antagonist... just some mild sparing and the emtnion that the antagonist is now in the deepest jail cell. But I guess most people skip prologs anyway.
Jun 19, 2024
You would have gotten me, had I not spoiled myself by reading the comments.
Jun 14, 2024
Cute ending. Interesting choice to switch to the counselor for the epilog. It kinda read like almost a semi third person pov for me. But yeah, I guess it works better to have a more objective narrator here.
Jun 12, 2024
To:Steward McOy
Sad panda. I was refering to 'chickens with ties'.
Rubber chicken, eh?
Yeah, this chapter gave me some Kaguya vibes too.
That are some dangerous games the two of them are playing. Good thing this isn't a *cough* well dressed fowl *cough*.
